5 more foods that Tom Brady would definitely hate

Tom Brady is a savage who claims to have never eaten a strawberry in his life. If he hates delicious berries, it’s worth considering what other foods the prima donna QB might hate.

We all have a friend like Tom Brady. He’s that schlubby kid from high school who was a few pounds overweight with a bad haircut who discovered weight lifting and dieting in college. Now, when he comes home for holidays, he can’t help but tell you how much he’s benching or about the new vegan diet he’s trying out.

Seriously — the absolute worst.

This week, Brady made headlines by claiming to have never eaten a single strawberry in his life. That’s a bold claim to make, but Brady’s restrictive diet is well-documented, so there may actually be some validity to his claim.

Brady doesn’t eat sugar, tomatoes, flour, anything remotely processed, and also claims to have never touched coffee. Knowing that, and with his recent strawberry denial, it is really worth wondering what other foods Tom Brady would absolutely hate.

Here is my best attempt at identifying five foods that Mr. Gisele Bundchen would never allow to pass his lips.

5. Kiwis

Seriously, if Brady refuses to eat strawberries, how could he possibly have tried kiwis. It’s a weird Chinese gooseberry. Kiwis are all hairy on the outside and they have these crunchy little seeds on the inside. I’m not sure what it is about strawberries that turned Brady off, but it has to be the external seeds. Well, the seeds on a kiwi are way crunchier and way more awful to eat. No way that Tom Brady would ever dare try a kiwi, regardless of how luxurious they are.

But, if Brady ever did try a kiwi, he would be ingesting approximately 42 calories per serving and six grams of pure, unadulterated glorious sugar. Kiwis are also very high in Vitamin C, which Brady might actually need in Boston where the air gets so cold that footballs mysteriously lose pressure.

Next: 4. Green bean casserole