2018 NFL Draft to be broadcast on every channel ever

LAKE FOREST, IL - AUGUST 24: A detailed view of a NFL Network microphone is seen on a podium in the conference room at Hallas Hall during the Bears training camp on August 24, 2017 at Halas Hall, in Lake Forest, IL. (Photo by Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images) /

The NFL Draft has been on both NFL Network and ESPN in recent years, but 2018 is seeing an expansion that would make the MLS blush.

I love the NFL as much as anybody, I make my living covering the sport, I consume it in my free time, I even watch games from 1993 on YouTube when I’m bored and eating chocolate at night.

All that said, the league is bordering on the obscene with the announcement of the NFL Draft being on ESPN, ESPN Deportes, FOX, NFL Network, ESPN2, ABC and a litany of online streams throughout the three-day extravaganza. We’ve finally reached the point where football has taken over the world, a pigskin-themed arms race to see which broadcasting company can win the day.

Frankly, I don’t think we’ve gone far enough. The NFL should be reaching out to other markets including Cartoon Network, CSPAN, CSPAN2, QVC and the DIY Network.

Hell, why not call up HGTV and see if we can get Property Brothers bumped for a few nights so we can fight out which player is doomed to four years with the Cleveland Browns?

Also, FOX is getting the rights, so why not simulcast on FOX News? Give Hannity the night off and do the entire country a solid. If somebody gets up on stage and wears a tan suit, or kneels, we immediately switch to programming that has somebody saluting the flag for a solid hour.

At what point does commissioner Roger Goodell sit back in his chair made of fine-money and think he’s reached enough of an audience? He’s got ESPN doing 26 consecutive hours of breathless coverage that includes the College Gameday crew, which is both somewhat intriguing and wholly oversaturating.

Next: Best NFL player from each state

Can we just have Lee Corso putting on mascot heads to let us know what he thinks of the selections? He can go with the Kansas Jayhawks if it’s terrible, and the Alabama Crimson Tide if it’s a home run. If it’s a mediocre choice nobody cares about, let’s roll with the Oregon State Beavers.

Come April 26, every channel you can find will have the NFL Draft plastered on your screen. Hopefully you’re ready for the siege.

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