Ice-Cold Takes: Nathan MacKinnon, Fortnite and the ‘Canes get roasted

Ice-Cold Takes is a weekly humor column where we visit what is trending around the NHL. If you’ve never read a sports website or a newspaper, a column is an upright pillar, typically cylindrical and made of stone or concrete. Wait….

If this is your first time reading Ice Cold Takes, welcome. This is the second week of the column, and I’m proud to announce that we’ve officially made it. Everything that was discussed last week was accurate, any predictions came true and betting advice was sound and correct. This week, we look to continue to provide more of the same, so let’s jump right in:

Trending up

1. Nathan MacKinnon

2018 Hart Trophy winner Nathan MacKinnon is on an absolute tear right now. MacKinnon is providing an answer to the question, “What would happen if we put the league’s best player on the league’s worst team and just told him to have fun?” With 91 points this season and 26 (13 goals, 13 assists) over a 13-game streak, MacKinnon is single-handedly making the Colorado Avalanche a legitimate playoff threat. They currently hold the first wild card spot in the West.

Here’s a little-known fact that you can tell your friends: MacKinnon is from Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia. Other notable Cole Harbour residents include the three members of the Trailer Park Boys, UFC lightweight TJ Grant and ex-NHL goalie Craig Hillier.

MacKinnon has to be the most famous person to ever come out of Cole Harbour, right? If not, definitely the greatest hockey player.

2. Fortnite

If you are of the age that you consider every video game a “Nintendo” or if you live under a rock, you may not have heard of Fortnite: Battle Royale. Fortnite is currently bridging a gap between sports and video games in a way we’ve never seen before.

On Saturday, the sixteen-seed UMBC Retrievers took down the one-seed Virginia Cavaliers in the NCAA Men’s basketball tournament. It marked the first time in history that a No. 16 seed beat a No. 1 seed. After the win, a UMBC player compared the historic feeling to getting a win on Fortnite.

The Hunger Games-style video game is currently taking over the sporting world, and the NHL is onboard. Among others, Charlie McAvoy and Alex Ovechkin have become the most recent to collect a coveted solo Fortnite win.

Look at the pure joy on Ovechkin’s face after he takes down the last opposing player. The NHL has a Fortnite problem. I wonder if the NHL’s significant other gets mad at it for playing all the time, too.

3. This kid at the Rangers game

Nothing made me happier last week than seeing this kid’s reaction after he got some love from his favorite hockey player, Pavel Buchnevich:

As you could have probably guessed given my name, I grew up a Boston Bruins fan. Living in Northern Ontario didn’t give me much of an opportunity to attend games or meet professional athletes. The look on my face as a 26-year-old when I ran in to Adam Oates in the men’s washroom of a bar in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, must have looked just like this kid’s.

After Mr. Oates understandably asked me to give him a second to finish up, he was nice enough to snap a picture with me right there in the washroom. Class act.

Trending down

1. Carolina Hurricanes

As if being a member of the Carolina Hurricanes wasn’t bad enough, promising young talent Sebastian Aho and the rest of the ‘Canes were hit with quite possibly the most bone-crushing “Boom, roasted” we’ve ever seen:

There’s just no coming back from this. The Bruins fan here hits every single player on the Hurricanes roster with a brilliant play on words. Nothing beats a well thought out “your mom” joke. To make matters worse, she was wearing a creepy bear mask to the game in Raleigh, which was probably scary for the players to see in the front row. Especially those who may be afraid of bears.

The icing on the cake was when the broadcast actually panned over to this sign and showed it on air for a few seconds before realizing it may not be the most appropriate joke to show on national television.

Bravo, bear-face woman. On that note…

2. Every team in the NHL not named the Boston Bruins

Patrice Bergeron is (almost) back! Bruins star and midseason Hart and Selke Trophy frontrunner Patrice Bergeron has been skating and practicing with the team.

Despite dealing with key injuries all season long, the Bruins have not missed a step. They continued their dominance with a big win over Tampa Bay on Saturday. Injuries have been an issue for the Bruins this season, but they have also given future stars like newly signed Ryan Donato a chance to shine.

The Bruins have ridiculous depth, and with Bergeron, Rick Nash, Zdeno Chara, Charlie McAvoy and Jake DeBrusk set to (hopefully) come back before the playoffs, the Bruins will be even better than they have been all season.  My collection of Bruins jerseys is hitting the dry cleaners this week, my mini Stanley Cup is back out on display in the living room, “Time to Go” by The Dropkick Murphys is back in my regular rotation and my new Ryan Donato jersey is in the mail. I’m officially playoff-ready.

3. Sports betting

Last week, I ended the column with some betting “locks” for Wednesday night’s games. While I joked through explanations of why I chose those two teams, the picks themselves were based on logic and diligent research. I lost both, much like all the other bets over the weekend on Tiger Woods and a handful of men’s basketball teams. Today I learned that I was not the only one losing money over the weekend:

Imagine having to explain that one to your significant other. “Yeah, sorry honey. We won’t be able to make the mortgage payment this month because I bet it all on Cincinnati and the unthinkable happened. What? Oh well if I would have won we could have made $26.65 so it was worth the risk.” –Newly divorced person.

During the PyeongChang Olympics, I bet $100 on the Canadian Women’s curling team, who were coming in to the tournament as heavy favorites. The payout was $17. I lost that bet. I felt terrible about it. I could not imagine how this guy felt watching his $2000 disappear shot-by-shot as Nevada did just enough to win that game.

To that guy: If you are reading this, here are a couple locks to help you win some of that money back.

Betting Locks of the night (0-2)

Buffalo (-115 ) over Arizona: Here’s a fun game! Bet on this one so you can join the seven other people who will be watching it! There’s no better way to make something this horrendous watchable! Buffalo is slightly better than its record suggests. Arizona is not.

Calgary (-105 ) over Anaheim: Why not.

Next: Which NHL mascot would you want with you in a bar fight?

Let me know what you think about this week’s choices, or hit me with anything you think should be featured next week on Twitter @TheRealBruin. Until next time, friends.

Keep your head up.

Odds according to Oddshark.