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Patrick Patterson wears huge mittens during game (Photo)

By Stanford Crissey

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Raptors forward Patrick Patterson is wearing giant mittens on the bench– which is baffling the entire world.

It’s winter. It’s the season of bundling up, of wearing layers upon layers to escape the harsh cold. It applies if you’re outside, in your car, or even in your house if it’s particularly cold or you’re too cheap to turn the heat up.

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What’s a place where mittens, scarves, and hats are not typically worn? Oh I don’t know, maybe at an NBA game… espcially if you are one of the players playing the game.

That may seem like common sense, but apparently no one told Toronto’s Patrick Patterson.

Why is he wearing those giant mittens? Your guess is as good as mine. NBA teams make plies and piles of cash, so one would assume the arenas are heated; furthermore, basketball isn’t really a sport that makes you cold.

Maybe the Raptors freeze the ball before the game, to throw off the visiting team? If that’s the case, DeflateGate had better move over; we’ve got a new scandal to obsess over. I’m going to be the first to call this MittenGate.

There are just no apparent answers; we need to dig deeper here. It’s time to call Sherlock Holmes, or at least Inspector Clouseau; it’s time to get to the bottom of this.

#MittenGate

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