Portland Timbers vs. Chivas USA: 10 Bold Predictions

May 12, 2013; Portland, OR, USA; Portland Timbers fans reach out and touch the Timber slab held by mascot Timber Joey during the second half of the game between the Portland Timbers and the Chivas USA at Jeld-Wen Field. Timbers won the game 3-0. Mandatory Credit: Steve Dykes-USA TODAY Sports

After letting Clint Dempsey run riot all over them late at Providence Park in Portland, Ore., Caleb Porter’s Portland Timbers are hoping for a more decisive result that they can hold on to. That could come on Saturday, Apr. 12 at home against Wilmer Cabrera’s Chivas USA, who were gashed in their 3-0 home defeat to the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Kickoff is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. PT/10:30 p.m. ET and will be televised by MLS LIVE. Here are 10 Bold Predictions for Saturday’s match between the Portland Timbers and Chivas USA.

1. There’s A [goal-scoring] Party In Portland

Break out the blowout combs for this one; it’s gonna get ugly. We’re looking at six goals minimum scored in this match. Here’s the catch…

2. Chivas USA will not score in this contest

Yes, you heard it right, and please, do not be surprised. It’s not gonna be pretty. Chivas USA will not score a single goal on the road against Portland. Ouch.

3. Diego Chara with a brace

Diego Chara currently has two goals to his name, and he will get more. He’ll get two brace in as many games this Saturday.

4. Kalif Alhassan will score

Alhassan this season only had one assist. However, he will get on goal and open his scoring account for the year.

5. Maxi Urruti gets on goal

Maximiliano Urruti opened his scoring account against Seattle and will get on goal again on Saturday against Chivas.

6. Gaston Fernandez will score

Gaston Fernandez has two goals this season and will score another for Portland, coming off the bench. Everybody gets a chance to deliver the pain on Saturday, including…this guy…

7. Diego Valeri also scores, too

Diego Valeri also opened his scoring account against the Seattle Sounders on Saturday and will get another goal against Chivas USA.

8. Andrew Weber with under five saves

This won’t be as tough a going as before for Portland netminder Andrew Weber, but he will need to do some work. Weber will make under five saves.

9. Dan Kennedy with at least five saves

As for Dan Kennedy, he’s going to make a bevy of saves, but it won’t be enough. Still, you have to applaud Kennedy’s bravery in these circumstances. Dan will make five saves minimum, as was the case against LA.

10. At least 30 fouls and six cards

This is going to be a gritty match and Chivas USA will be forced to hack at will. There will be at least 30 fould whistles and six cards issued in this rout.

Portland Timbers 6, Chivas USA 0