Hunter Pence throws bat at ball, gets RBI hit (GIF)
By Dan Zinski
This settles it: Hunter Pence is clearly a wizard.
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How else do you explain what Pence does here? With the Giants needing a run to break a scoreless tie in the first, Pence throws his bat at the ball, somehow making contact.
Not only does Pence hit the ball by throwing his bat at it, the ball bounces sharply off second base for a single, putting the Giants up 1-0.
What are the odds that you could not only hit the ball by throwing your bat at it but also have the ball bounce perfectly off second base for the RBI single?
The odds against that are eleventy-billion-to-one. Roughly. Give or take a billion.
So, no way that happened just by random chance. Some mysterious hand played a part in bringing about that sequence of events. Something…intervened.
The only explanation that makes sense to me? Hunter Pence called upon dark forces to make that bat and that ball do what he wanted them to do.
Why does Hunter Pence know how to communicate with dark forces and make them control inanimate objects? Because he’s a wizard.
Isn’t it obvious? All those Hunter Pence signs just give him more power. You people need to stop, unless you want Hunter Pence to acquire god-like powers that he will certainly use to turn everything hipster.
Shudder.