Ranking the 10 ugliest NFL uniforms of all time

6. Cleveland’s All-Orange Atrocities

I have a confession: although they are plain and boring and unimaginative, I kind of dig Cleveland’s classic uniforms. Sure, they do not in any way leap off the screen, but that’s fine. Not every uniform needs to be flashy — I say this as a Ducks fan who sometimes wishes Oregon games were broadcast in black and white — and I am a sucker for solid color helmets, so the Browns used to receive a semi-enthusiastic passing grade from me, jersey-wise.

However, all that changed when the team unveiled their new jerseys, a collection which includes an orange-on-orange abomination so repugnant that the Oxford English Dictionary decided amend the definition of “repugnant” to include Cleveland’s latest catastrophes.

Did the designer of these uniforms receive bribes from traffic cone lobbyists? Are the orange-on-orange uniforms some sort of subliminal message designed to make us more attentive when we drive past roadwork projects? Should the new season of The X-Files include an episode that investigates this mystery, because without some sort of behind-the-scenes collusion there is no way those monochromatic atrocities would ever receive a stamp of approval? The people want to know; the truth is out there.

But hey, even if these new uniforms are grotesque, at least Cleveland fans can rest easy knowing that they can tell all the sartorial haters such as myself to put a cork in it after the all-orange Browns capture this year’s Super Bowl, which is something that is definitely, truly happening.

Next: 5. Denver's throwbacks