Russell Westbrook is a good dude.
Insofar as treating your entire NBA team to grub from a notorious fast-food joint makes you a good dude.
The Oklahoma City Thunder were feeling rowdy after their 131-116 victory over the Sacramento Kings on Monday. And why wouldn’t they? They had just racked up another impressive win and put a little distance between themselves and their overtime letdown against the Golden State Warriors on Saturday night.
Westbrook in particular was feeling pretty good after notching his ninth triple-double of the season—so much so that he apparently satisfied the late-night munchie cravings for his entire team:
Boisterous Thunder locker room postgame. Pleased with the win, but really pumped that Russell Westbrook bought entire team in-N-out.
— Anthony Slater (@anthonyVslater) March 1, 2016
There’s a triple-double joke to be made somewhere in here, but I’m going to avoid cliches and bad burger buns (sorry) starting right now. The bill is a more pressing topic of conversation anyway.
After perusing In-N-Out’s menu, since I’ve never been there myself because the East Coast is stupid, here’s what I imagine the Thunder players ordering:
Kevin Durant: Protein-style double-double burger (wrapped in lettuce instead of bun)
Serge Ibaka: Strawberry milkshake, chocolate milkshake, vanilla milkshake
Russell Westbrook: 3 x 3, no onions (three burgers)
Dion Waiters: Between 12 and 17 orders of fries
Cameron Payne: Two orders of what Westbrook had
Enes Kanter: Two dozen 4 x 4 burgers, extra cheese
Kyle Singler: Large root beer cut with lemonade
Steven Adams: Animal-style mustard-cooked beef patty, extra mustard, extra beef
Randy Foye: Burger bun, no burger, with heavy mayo and 16 slices of cheese
Nick Collison: Whatever KD had
Andre Roberson: Six grilled cheese sandwiches doused with Dr. Pepper in order to achieve that soggy cherry taste
Billy Donovan: Double-double burger, hold the burger
Anthony Morrow: Did not eat, coach’s decision
Sounds about right, yes?