There is only one way to stop Stephen Curry from using those flamethrowers he calls arms to destroy NBA defenses at large.
No, acceptable answers do not include “Ask Oscar Robertson” or “Hold his postgame peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a ransom of missed jumpers.”
So how do you stop Steph?
Australian voodoo. Maybe. Actually, we’re not really sure. But San Antonio Spurs point guard Patty Mills thinks there’s something to the idea:
Patty Mills was just asked if he has an Australian voodoo doll of Curry. He said no, but added "that's not a bad idea."
— Melissa Rohlin (@melissarohlin) March 18, 2016
It’s like the old adage goes: If you can’t stop him, you might as well stab a poorly fashioned replica doll of him with skull-decorated pins.
For those interested, a “Stephen Curry voodoo dolls” Google Images search comes up largely empty. Mills would have to make one on his own, and imaginary sources who most definitely don’t exist told me that’s exactly what he’s done. These nonexistent sources of made-up information even sent a picture of Mills’ new toy:
To answer your question, I do not have any idea if the above doll is actually Klay Thompson wearing a Curry jersey. Either way, the idea stands.
The Golden State Warriors’ Curry-piloted offense is just absurd. If the Spurs defense cannot slow him down on Saturday night, Mills may have to take matters into his hands. And “Resort to Australian voodoo” is the second-best option at Mills’ disposal, sandwiched right between “Clone an army of expressionless Kawhi Leonards” and “Get the mothership to finally call Steph home.”