Benny, oh my sweet, sweet Benny
How your antics have brought joy and wonder to many
For 12 years now, you’ve graced the United Center and the world with your presence
Your consistent lack of facial expression was creepy but endearing
Many celebrities had the honor to meet you
You danced for Jay and Diddy
And sat next to Kanye West (KANYE WEST!)
You dashed down the sidelines, flipping and rolling
Your versatility on the dance floor captivated and impressed many
Because, well, you’re a bull
Through tough times like 2008
And many a playoff runs, you were there
Wait, you were on Jerry Springer?
Oh
When you were near, popcorn would fly
Now that I think about it,
That was a lot of popcorn
You had a multitude of  personalities and characters,
Like Prince or the Joker
The Bulls probably could’ve used your skills on the court
You could dunk (off a tramopline)
And handle the ball
And have definitely made an over-the-head half-court shot once or twice
You distracted opposing players,
Throwing them off their game
In hopes it would help the Bulls win
For this, and much, much more,
We thank you,
And we’ll miss you
The man inside of you may be retiring,
but Benny the Bull,
You’ll be remembered forever
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