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25 NBA players who can help you survive a zombie apocalypse

By Matt Rutkowski

Oct 18, 2016; Columbus, OH, USA; Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James (23) against the Washington Wizards at the Jerome Schottenstein Center. The Wizards won 96-91. Mandatory Credit: Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 18, 2016; Columbus, OH, USA; Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James (23) against the Washington Wizards at the Jerome Schottenstein Center. The Wizards won 96-91. Mandatory Credit: Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports /
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This truth of modern life is inescapable: the zombie apocalypse is coming. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But some day, those zombies are going to be here, trying to eat the brains of you and everyone you love.

It’s never to early to start plotting out a survival strategy and the NBA is a good place to start looking for resources. Loaded with aggressive athletes of unusual size, the NBA has plenty of players who can help you survive.

Here are the 25 players you want by your side when the zombie apocalypse begins.

25. LeBron James

Sure, give him credit for being the best player in the league.

Sure, give him the credit for being very strong and scary.

Sure, give him credit for his ugly face games where the world is torn apart at the seams by his hands and hatred.

Also give him credit for surrounding himself with long-time friends who are going to look out for him like I look out for Golden Corral coupons.

The clutch factor is to his advantage as well. No one can call him scared after these last few seasons. LeBron will make it. Stick with him. Put all that aside. The Cleveland Cavaliers won the championship last year. Someone somewhere (Ohio (Definitely in Ohio)) probably sold their soul and much more for this to happen. Probably multiple people, if we’re honest.

Given all that, it’s safe to assume the apocalypse is going to happen, and if it’s going to start anywhere it’s going to start in Cleveland. LeBron will be there, and in a certain way LeBron was the cause. Maybe, just maybe, LeBron knows how to stop it.

It could be as simple as throwing the Larry O’Brien trophy into Lake Erie. Maybe he has to mail the thing to a more deserving person like Byron Scott. Maybe the zombies are shambling Indians fans still unable to cope with the idea that they lost to the Cubs, and he just has to have another parade with shirtless J.R. It’s winter now, and it’s cold, but I feel J.R. can sacrifice more now.

Whatever the situation, LeBron needs to be on your side. Go to him.

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