One crazy trade every NBA team should make

4. Los Angeles Clippers

Sometimes it’s just not your year. The Clippers should be as used to that as anyone. Sure they make it out of the first round sometimes, but I did that in a tennis tournament once, and no one is putting me in the NBA Hall of Fame.

But what my early tennis exits taught me is that your championship window is an ephemeral thing. It’s a dainty flower scotch-taped to the end of a flamethrower. You need to appreciate while it’s there because your face will soon be showered with fire and pain. Cherish the moment.

I never maximized my opportunity for tennis glory. I would eat Little Caesar’s Crazy Bread and watch Mystery Science Theatre instead of going to practice sometimes. Other times I would have a Snickers Bar. Eventually you graduate high school, and they won’t let you play any more. This means I am basically the Ghost of Clippers Future. The Kia is wrecked, the State Farm agent won’t put up with me any more, and Austin Rivers calls me dad.

Don’t be like me. I am a warning, not an example. If this is as close as you’re going to get, don’t mess with it. You already have Mo Speights on your team, and he was the key to the Warriors success. You’ll never convince me otherwise. They even got a lookalike in David West just to try to trick God.

This is why the Warriors won’t win the championship. God is angry. Don’t anger god, Clippers. Stay the course.

Chris Paul and Blake Griffin to the Detroit Pistons for Reggie Jackson and Jon Leuer.