Man vs. Beast: 10 NFL players, animals that should fight each other

7. Antonio Brown vs. Australian Emu

Fighter Statistics

Antonio Brown: 5-foot-10, 180 pounds

Emu: over 6-feet, weighs about 140 pounds

Advantages

Antonio Brown: footwork, elusiveness

Emu: overall speed (runs up to 30 mph), aggressive

Disadvantages

Antonio Brown: lightweight, .500 W-L record against birds (Falcons, Ravens, Eagles, Seahawks)

Emu: lacks physical features, petite

Other than the ostrich, the emu is one of the most intimidating birds in all of the animal kingdom. Without any noticeable wings to help it out fly off, that deficiency could be an issue when it comes to hand-to-hand combat; meanwhile, Antonio Brown has one of the best pair of hands in the entire league. With no arms to defend itself, the emu is plotted for an inevitable loss to one of the NFL’s premiere wide receivers of the 21st century. But with any underdog story, there’s a Catch-22, and in the emu’s case, it’s its feet and speed.

The claws of an emu rival that of a much-smaller-scale replica of a T-Rex’s. Measured at about six inches long, the largest toe claw of an emu is durable enough to puncture through ballistic jelly, which mimics human flesh. And keeping within tradition of Australia having some of the toughest animals on Earth, the emu doesn’t stop at thick toe nails.

Instead, an emu is superior in terms of stride, which can result in nine-feet of progress in one step. This fight would boil down to speed and, since the emu has plenty of that stored up, it’s fair to say that will have Brown uttering “bird is the word” at match’s end.