Let’s be real. This was not a good week in baseball. At least Aaron Judge is hitting home runs and John Gibbons is making prank phone calls. Let’s have fun!
It was gonna be May and now it’s May. May the Fourth be with you or enjoy the blowback via Cinco de Cuatro. While there is plenty to celebrate in the world, this was NOT a fun week in baseball. The Baltimore Orioles vs. Boston Red Sox at Fenway was an embarrassment, as racism is the antithesis of fun. Be nice to people, Boston, and don’t call Adam Jones names because he’s a good dude and a good player.
Noah Syndergaard got hurt, too. Now the Mets are almost as bad as the Braves, who New York massacred on Thursday night. Baseball without Thor for a while is not fun. His blonde mane was most majestic and not like that thing Jacob deGrom is doing out of the back of his cap.
At least the Yankees are interesting. Aaron Judge almost single-handedly (actually two-handedly because that’s how you hit if you’re not named Dan Uggla) saved baseball this week. Judge is the Bill Brasky baseball needs. He’s not as wilderness-y as Evan Gattis a few years ago, but more power to the best skyscraper at Yankees Stadium. Could he play small forward for the Knicks?
Hopefully next week is better. You can’t win everything. So here’s some pictures, videos and other things to click on as I magically try to make a bad week of baseball fun.
Aaron Judge needs no jury in his rampant baseball execution
He’s like nine-feet tall and can just now rent a car. His name is Judge and this is no Mock Trial with J. Reinhold. The Yankees love their home more than that golf ball in Happy Gilmore. They have the best record in the American League East and probably the Rookie of the Year.
Let’s just hope Bill Brasky didn’t go out with Tara Reid in high school. Her brothers did play for the Rangers, so watch out. Then again, let’s just let Aaron be the Judge of that. He’s doing good things for the Yankees, as he’s got more homer in him than Tommy Heinsohn calling a Celtics game.
Judge hit six home runs last week to go along with his 12 RBI’s. “Oh, are you guys going to Arby’s?” No, A-a-ron’s got some baseballs to hit. Well, okay then. If Judge doesn’t hit 40 home runs this year, expect one of the Steinbrenners to fire that one guy that sleeps under his desk and believes that cotton really is the fabric of our lives. Boy, George is going to have a lot of explain to the Yankees jury if Judge isn’t able to keep executing baseballs like this.
John Gibbons will call you on his cell phone
Did the math, and yep, the Blue Jays still have the worst record in baseball. The Maple Leafs are out of the playoffs and the Raptors are about to be. At least Toronto still has the baseball equivalent of Drake in the clubhouse. Yes, skipper John Gibbons will call you on his cell phone.
Gibbons probably listened to The Jerky Boys more than George Michael Bluth as teenager. Crank yanking is still something you can apparently do in the age of cell phones and caller ID. Gibbons called into a local Toronto radio station and threw a curve ball right by host Mike Wilner.
The Blue Jays aren’t sneaking stuff by a lot of people after their dreadful April. It doesn’t help that the AL East looks to be the best division in baseball. All we know is that Gibbons has better job security than you, as he anonymously called into a radio station with the worst record in baseball. Keep in mind that Toronto hadn’t made the postseason during the internet era since Gibbons’ second arrival with the club. Let’s get him a Rogers sponsorship or something.
Baltimore vs. Boston was a mean series, but this triple play was cool
We get it. The Orioles and Red Sox don’t really like each other, but this series between AL East rivals took baseball’s good name and rubbed its face in the dirt. Jones being heckled by racists fans, Manny Machado going on expletive-laden rants, and all sorts of throwing at each other. Just no thanks.
It’s only fitting that a triple play would happen in the Orioles vs. Red Sox series in Fenway. Boston doesn’t get what infield fly rules are. Like, the ball has to probably land in the infield for that to happen. Well, Mitch Moreland and Dustin Pedroia just decide to go Easter egg hunting or something and were tagged off the bag in a weird triple play by the Orioles.
You can thank Orioles shortstop J.J. Hardy for not knowing how to catch a baseball over his head. First step is always back. The whole sequence and frankly the entire series needs to go some laps or sit in timeout. Boston looked dumb on that triple play, while Baltimore lucked into good fortune like Jed Clampett.
No more Thor for three months
It is not going to be a fun year in New York for Mets fans. They just can’t keep their rotation healthy. As Matt Harvey comes back into the fold, right-hander Noah Syndergaard looks to be sidelined until early August.
So no more Thor for three months es no bueno for the New York rotation. Baseball needs players that are as marketable as Syndergaard and now he has to deal with a torn lat muscle. Given that he is a pitcher, he could be out longer than that 12-week period.
Next: Best MLB player from each state
Maybe this gives Harvey, Zach Wheeler or deGrom’s hair an opportunity to take charge in the Mets rotation? Either way, it doesn’t look like the Mets are going to catch the Washington Nationals in the National League East. The worst division in baseball just got worse so that’s just dandy!