The 10 greatest mustaches in NBA history

HUMOR

Nowadays, NBA mustaches are mostly grown in jest. Genuine stachers like CJ McCollum, Jeff Teague, and Spencer Dinwiddie, are exceptions; but more-often-than-not, modern mustaches tend to be accompanied by smirking Instagram selfies and a knowing wink.

Players like Steve Nash, Myers Leonard, and Boris Diaw have demonstrated Magnum-level mustachabilities, but a palpable undercurrent of irony has cheapened their displays. Likewise, Shane Battier, Spencer Hawes, and Andrew Bogut have all debased the proud legacy of James Edwards with their patchy replica handlebars.

JaVale McGee had a dastardly mustache tattoo hidden on the inside of his index finger even before he joined the super villains. How hipster is that? Scot Pollard has one too.

Recently, some of the best gag mustaches have been initiated in the name of charity. Chris Paul, DeAndre Jordan, and Blake Griffin all eschewed their lip-clippers one November to raise awareness for prostate cancer — even coach Doc Rivers played along. The Cavaliers have also celebrated Movember (multiple times) — LeBron James and Kevin Love had particularly successful efforts.

Likewise, I imagine that when Enes Kanter and Steven Adams transformed into the Stache Brothers for the first time, it was initially meant as a joke, too — there was a playful photo shoot and themed clothing. But eventually, if you wait long enough to shave, you stop being a guy who is pretending to have a mustache, and you just become a guy who likes having a mustache. Of the pair, Adams has more wholeheartedly embraced his new look and, so, he gets the edge.