The Chiefs are here to deliver us from football evil
By Josh Hill
The Kansas City Chiefs are the best team in football and are here to usher in a new era.
Praise be, the football gods have bestowed upon us a new savior to cleanse the football world of demigods and false idols. For the last two decades, the NFL has been dominated by the same seven teams. Fans want something new — a pigskin revolt that forces out the old guard and ushers in a new era.
Our best hope is the Kansas City Chiefs.
Kansas City is a football revolution worth joining rank with. For decades the Chiefs have been on the wrong side of fate, from missed kicks to blown leads nothing has gone their way. It took the team 20-years to win a playoff game, despite regular trips to the postseason. Hall of Fame players have come through town, only to toil away as fan favorites but never champions. The Chiefs were, and still are, high-end loveable losers who tried but never seemed to figure it out.
Suddenly, the Chiefs are an unstoppable force and there seem to be no immovable objects standing in the way. It’s as if years of having everything go wrong has forced the stars to align.
Houston was supposed to be a tough test for the Chiefs on Sunday night, and Kansas City ended up blowing the Texans away. Washington should have won on Monday Night Football but couldn’t do it. Everyone in the country (including the Chiefs fans I work with) chalked up Week 1 as a Patriots victory, only to watch Kansas City beat New England so bad it set them back a few weeks.
It’s as if years of having everything go wrong has forced the stars to align.
Looking ahead, it’s hard to predict when the Chiefs will lose. Games against Pittsburgh, Dallas, and Buffalo are tough in theory, but all three of those teams lost on Sunday. None of them look better than Kansas City. Divisional games are always hard to win, but the Chiefs own Oakland and the Chargers are barely a franchise. Denver is a formidable opponent, but money on the line the Chiefs are who you bet on.
If Alex Smith doesn’t beat you with his arm, Kareem Hunt will torch you with his legs. The offense has never been this dynamic and Smith is doing his best Joe Montana impression on a weekly basis.
If the offense is struggling, the defense will tag in and do the job itself. Justin Houston and Marcus Peters are two of the best defensive players in football and anchor a unit with plenty of quality supplemental talent. Kansas City is doing spectacular things on defense, all without the on-field help of Eric Berry — so just imagine how much better they’d be if he was out there.
Between balancing these methods of attack, Dave Toub’s special teams unit will either kick you out of the game or take scoring touchdowns into its own hands. Tyreek Hill is as dangerous a return man as Devin Hester was, and might be even better.
Kansas City isn’t perfect. They still make head-scratching mistakes, and the defense has a tendency to take its foot off the gas at the wrong time. Andy Reid still stockpiles timeouts like cans of food before the apocalypse. Yet, somehow the problems that would have sunk the Chiefs in years past manage to cancel each other out in some cosmic balancing of The Force.
Yet, somehow the problems that would have sunk the Chiefs in years past manage to cancel each other out in some cosmic balancing of The Force. For football fans hungry for something new, the Chiefs are here to deliver us from evil.