World Cup Day 7 awards: Cristiano Ronaldo grew a chin beard
Cristiano Ronaldo scored again, Saudi Arabia lost less badly than last time and Spain beat Iran on World Cup Day 7. Let’s hand out some awards.
On the seventh day of the World Cup, Cristiano Ronaldo’s facial hair took center stage during Portugal’s win against Morocco, Uruguay ensured Saudi Arabia won’t advance to the round of 16 and Spain outlasted a stubborn Iran side in an ill-tempered game. Let’s hand out some awards.
The Alexi Lalas Award for Unfortunate World Cup Facial Hair: Cristiano Ronaldo
There are few dumber debates than the GOAT debate, and there are even fewer dumber reasons to grow facial hair than in an attempt to participate in the GOAT debate. Cristiano Ronaldo, not known for his humility, clearly doesn’t care how stupid his reasons are: He wants us to know where he thinks he ranks among the all-time greats of the game. And, apparently concerned we weren’t listening all those other times when he told us explicitly (or, like, just paying attention to his general demeanor for any of the past 10 years), he decided to grow a goatee. Which, well, come on, Cristiano, you’re 33 years old.
The Seven Nation Army Award for Unoriginal (But Enthusiastic) Chanting: One Corner of the Luzhniki Stadium
Cristiano Ronaldo got his work done quickly for Portugal against Morocco, scoring the match-winner in the fourth minute (the same minute, as it happens, he scored his first against Spain). Just as well, really, seeing as how he spent most of the rest of the 90 game watching his teammates get tackled. When they did find him with the ball, he was mostly ineffective, losing possession eight times in total. To make matters worse, each unsuccessful touch was met with chants of “Messi” from one corner of the stadium. They must not have been able to see him scratching his chin from their seats.
The New Zealand Award for Valiant Failure: Morocco
The first question Morocco coach Herve Renard was asked during his post-match press conference concerned his decision to start Nordin Amrabat, who had suffered a concussion four days previous against Iran. Instead of answering the question, he said this: “I’m very proud of this country … I’m very proud of my players … one thing I’m sure of is that the whole Moroccan people is very proud of their team.” Notwithstanding his blatant disregard for the significance of Amrabat’s injury, Renard was right. Morocco have dominated both their games in the nation’s first World Cup appearance in 20 years, but may very well go home without a single point, with their last against a Spain team likely to be battling for first place in the group. “It felt like we were playing in Casablanca,” said Renard of the Morocco fans. “This is something you can never take away from them.”
Next: The best player on every team at the World Cup
The Saudi Arabia Award for Baby Steps: Saudi Arabia
Saudi Arabia were thoroughly outclassed in the tournament opener against Russia, losing so badly the world had no choice but to spend much of the next week complaining about how irredeemably awful the AFC is, and how we should replace the World Cup with some sort of Euros-Copa American hybrid or the Champions League or something. Anyway, Saudi Arabia showed us all how wrong we were on Tuesday, losing only 1-0 to Uruguay in a very bad game, joining such esteemed company as Egypt this year and Italy in 2014. They have one more chance to pick up their first World Cup points since 1994. If they maintain their current trajectory, they should win 3-0.
The Sergio Ramos Award for Enjoying The Taste Of Your Own Medicine: Diego Costa
Iran appeared to have asked themselves a very simple question ahead of their match with Spain: What would Diego Costa do? Whatever it was, Iran were going to do it better (except for the scoring part), diving and kicking and generally getting under the skin of their more talented opponents. Their star Costa-imitator was goalkeeper Alireza Beirenvand, whose best moment came while diving after a challenge from Costa himself. Costa, confused by this turn of events, did what he does best, squaring up to Beiranvand and shouting at the referee and generally getting under everyone’s skin. And then scoring the worst goal of the day. The master is still the master.