Ice-Cold Takes: Pacioretty escapes, Eugene Melnyk is weird, goodbye sweet McQuaid

Ice-Cold Takes is a weekly NHL humor column covering what is trending around the NHL. The only column that would fearlessly dedicate an entire opening section to the Adam McQuaid trade.

We’re going to open this column with something that is very near and dear to me. Something heartbreaking that I went through recently. Something I haven’t fully recovered from yet: The Boston Bruins trading NHL superstar Adam McQuaid.

The McTrade (it’ll stick) was the last thing any of us wanted to wake up to on Tuesday morning, or afternoon, or whenever it happened. I get why they did it. The B’s are stacked with young talent on defense, McQuaid’s style of play doesn’t really fit the way the team is going and it also frees up some cap space. It makes sense, but still, it hurts.

McQuaid was the heart and soul of the Bruins franchise for years. He was really fun to watch and a hell of a fighter. He sometimes played so hard that he would injure himself trying to make a play. The guy gave everything he had to the spoked “B” on the center of his jersey and for that, we thank you, Adam.

Yesterday marked the end of an era. The Boston Bruins traded away the last true “Big bad Bruin.” Darth Quaider, you will never be forgotten. All the best in New York.

Now, on to the less important stuff.

Trending Up

Max Pacioretty

Max was recently set free from the dumpster fire organization that is Marc Bergevin’s Montreal Canadiens. On Monday, Bergevin shook the NHL world, trading Pacioretty to the Vegas Golden Knights for Tomas Tatar, Nick Suzuki and a 2019 second round draft pick.

As much as it pains me to say it, it’s actually a good trade for the Habs. Suzuki (Owen Sound Attack – OHL) has a ton of upside and could play a big part in the franchise’s rebuild. Tatar and the pick help as well. As for the Golden Knights, they add a goal scorer to replace James Neal without giving up any integral part of them competing right now.

Still, Habs fans still have a good 3-4 years of wasting Carey Price before they are actually any good again and that makes fans of every other NHL team happy.

Patrice Bergeron 

The buildup to the 2018-19 season is fully underway so it’s about the time of year we get to see hockey players doing weird things at the NHL media tour. Patrice Bergeron was one of these players.

We don’t know why this is something Bergeron was asked to do, but we do know that it prompted us all to look up Britney Spears’ “I’m a Slave For You” music video for the first time in a long time, so thanks for that, Patrice (though personally, I was more of an Xtina guy).

Goalie fights 

It’s a magical thing, the goalie fight. When a line brawl get serious enough and the refs take a step back, there’s really nothing for the goaltenders to do except wait. Time passes, they get bored, skate into the middle of the ice and agree that they might as well get in on the action.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnodkKKhtDj/

Yeah. Hockey is back.

Trending Down

The Ottawa Senators 

What the hell is this? The Senators released a very weird and somewhat uncomfortable video of a conversation between human “Crazy Frog” Matt Borowieki and human garbage can Eugene Melnyk. It’s almost six minutes long and provides no valuable information.

Check it out.

Skip it.

This video is the brainchild of Melnyk, sitting at home, trying to connect with the fans. He wants to portray his scripted umbrella message covering everything Sens fans are concern about as something cool and relatable. He’s either in denial, or thinks his entire fan base is stupid.

This feels like one of those uncomfortable on-boarding videos you would see on your first day at a new job. “Welcome to the bottom of the NHL! This video will serve as a dark reminder that it’s going to be a long time before we’re any good. Let’s start by talking about anything but Erik Karlsson!”

Speaking of Erik Karlsson. EK is gone before I write my next column. You heard it here

first

second

fifth

for the 100th time!

Sid and Geno – PRANKED! 

As previously mentioned, the NHL media tour is a crazy place. Here’s a video of ex-Penguin Marc Andre Fleury hitting his old teammates with the taped sleeves trick. Classic!

Watching them toss these jerseys on and struggle to get their arms out would actually be pretty funny. Not to mention, Fleury is looking fly as hell in his all-black sweatsuit and high socks. Could this look spill over into the fashion world? I hope so.

Speaking of Sidney Crosby, he was recently out delivering season tickets in Pittsburgh.

Imagine being late for school because you were playing hockey with Sidney Crosby? I love that NHL players deliver some of these tickets and take the time to interact and play some puck with the families they deliver to.

“Mom! I think I gave Sidney a concussion!” – That kid, probably.

The song backing this video sounds like a song from an Saturday morning fishing show. What a strange choice.

The Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t have words to explain this video, but I think it might be up for an academy award for best animated short next year. Just watch this beautiful masterpiece. It’s like looking into the eyes of every Toronto Maple Leafs fan at the same time.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BngxXb3haCA/

One last note, tune in or set your DVRs tonight to the nationally televised Humboldt Broncos season opener. Coverage starts at 7:30 p.m. ET with the puck dropping at 8:30 p.m. on NHL Network (US) or TSN (Canada).

Until next week, keep your head up.