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Ice Cold Takes feat. Celebrity guests: What would you do with the Stanley Cup?

By Bruin Belisle

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Ice Cold Takes is an NHL humor column. This week, celebrity guests weigh in on what they would do during their one day with the Stanley Cup.

The NHL season is long gone but there is still a Stanley Cup-full of great content to cover. This week, we’ll go over Stanley Cup celebrations, with the help of a few special guests. That’s right, there’s a brand new segment at the end of the column (No, it isn’t more awful betting advice). If you are already bored, just skip ahead to that.

It’s been two long weeks since the last Ice Cold Takes and I suppose the three of you reading this deserve an explanation. I was on vacation and probably too drunk. Absolutely nothing notable happened in the NHL. I was ready, willing and able to write the column but there was zero news to cover. Moving on.

What would you do on your one day with the Stanley Cup? Every year we see some new creative ideas come to fruition during the Cup’s player tour. This season, the Blues are taking it up a notch.

Joel Edmundson filled the Stanley Cup with Canada’s favorite meal, poutine! For those of you who don’t know, poutine is the Canadian delicacy (and it’s pronounced “poo-tin” not “poo-teen”). The dish consists of french fries, cheese and gravy and tastes amazing in any container you put it in. As someone who’s eaten it from regular dishes, to-go containers and off of the floor one time, I can tell you it looks a little better in the Cup.

Tyler and Molly Bozak took it a step further and salted the rim before filling it with booze at beautiful Buffalo Pound Lake, Saskatchewan (That’s the real name – Well, it’s more of a slough, but those are what they call lakes in Saskatchewan). Molly seems like a rock star, doesn’t she? Also, the Cup is spending an awful lot of time in Saskatchewan. Poor Stanley (Just kidding, it’s beautiful there).

Personally, I would bring Stanley back to my home town. We’d start at the lake, then crush beers at the Legion and move on to crushing beers at The Sunshine (the only local bar). We’d finish off the night by filling the Stanley Cup with sweet and sour sauce and dipping it with the greatest egg rolls ever made (shout out Thong La’s Restaurant). It would be no different from any other night spent up North, other than the bar likely having a few more visitors than its usual four regulars.

No one cares about some half-witted sports blogger taking the Cup to a dive bar. What would people who are actually interesting do with the Stanley Cup? And that brings us to our next segment…

Ice Cold Celebrities

I’d love to say I took two weeks off of the column to facilitate this exciting new segment, but I didn’t. I was too busy celebrating, partying, travelling or being hung over to make time for Ice Cold Takes, my FanSided baby. As an apology to you, I lined up a few celebs earlier this week for the first ever “Ice Cold Celebrities” segment.

To kick off this new monthly segment, I reached out with the most important mid-July hockey question: “How would you spend your one day celebrating with the Stanley Cup?”

Caitlin Clemmens (The Bachelor season 23 contestant)

THE BACHELOR – “2302” – Coltons search for love starts with laughs, surprises and intense face-offs between the women. The first date of the season has eight hopeful bachelorettes sharing personal stories about their “firsts” – with Colton and a live audience and coached by happily married masters of comedy Megan Mullally (“Will & Grace”) and Nick Offerman (“Parks and Recreation”). Hannah B. scores the first one-on-one date on her birthday, including dinner on The Queen Mary. Twelve eager women attend “Camp Bachelor” with a decidedly unorthodox camp counselor, actor and comedian Billy Eichner, who oversees three challenging contests. However, some ill-timed drama the night of the rose ceremony might lead to certain ladies being left without a rose on “The Bachelor,” MONDAY, JAN. 14 (8:00-10:00 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (Rick Rowell via Getty Images)CAITLIN
THE BACHELOR – “2302” – Coltons search for love starts with laughs, surprises and intense face-offs between the women. The first date of the season has eight hopeful bachelorettes sharing personal stories about their “firsts” – with Colton and a live audience and coached by happily married masters of comedy Megan Mullally (“Will & Grace”) and Nick Offerman (“Parks and Recreation”). Hannah B. scores the first one-on-one date on her birthday, including dinner on The Queen Mary. Twelve eager women attend “Camp Bachelor” with a decidedly unorthodox camp counselor, actor and comedian Billy Eichner, who oversees three challenging contests. However, some ill-timed drama the night of the rose ceremony might lead to certain ladies being left without a rose on “The Bachelor,” MONDAY, JAN. 14 (8:00-10:00 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network. (Rick Rowell via Getty Images)CAITLIN /

“I’d probably bring it home to the small town of Smiths Falls (Ontario, Canada) and ride around with it on a horse. Maybe zip through a Tim Hortons drive through… Keep it real country (Laughs). Then I’d bring it back to Toronto and do the classic hockey player move – drink endless amounts of champagne from it!”

A very Canadian day with the Cup, Caitlin! Thank you.

Jason Ellis (Former pro skateboarder, host of The Jason Ellis Show on SiriusXM Radio)

“Probably get naked with a bunch of hot girls and take photos… and f*** on it.”

Probably wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. We’re off to a solid start! Thanks Ellismate!

Matt Hamilton (Team USA curler, Olympic gold medalist, stud)

GANGNEUNG, SOUTH KOREA – FEBRUARY 24: Matt Hamilton of the United States reacts during the game against Sweden during the Curling Men’s Gold Medal game on day fifteen of the PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympic Games at Gangneung Curling Centre on February 24, 2018 in Gangneung, South Korea. (Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images)
GANGNEUNG, SOUTH KOREA – FEBRUARY 24: Matt Hamilton of the United States reacts during the game against Sweden during the Curling Men’s Gold Medal game on day fifteen of the PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympic Games at Gangneung Curling Centre on February 24, 2018 in Gangneung, South Korea. (Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images) /

“Ya know, I think I would take it out on my pontoon boat and have an awesome day on the lake! Bunch of friends and some tunes and enjoy a sunny day in the Madison lakes.”

Love it, Matt! Very similar to Tyler Bozak’s day last weekend. Can’t go wrong with a Stanley Cup pontoon day.

Mia Khalifa (Sports personality, Dr. Hockey Podcast, die-hard Capitals fan)

“For my day with the Stanley Cup, I’d reserve a table for two at The French Laundry. I’d get all dressed up, put it on a dolly and roll it through the legendary little blue door. I’d eat every dish they served out of it. 1996 Dom would taste great out of that cup…”

Would it ever! Thanks Mia. It’s worth noting that Mia is as big a Caps fan as you’ll meet. She obviously did some celebrating when Washington won back in 2018 and has had her eyes on the Cup ever since.

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Ice Cold Takes is back to its regularly weekly schedule (until my next vacation). This summer, we’ll break down free agency, preview the upcoming season, get in touch with more celebs and make fun of Leafs fans for losing Mitch Marner. Oh, and don’t think I’m not preparing a full-blown Phil Kessel appreciation post now that he’s been traded to Arizona.

Keep your head up!

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