It looks like the Dolphins might really go 0-16

After failing on a 2-point conversion to lose to the Washington Redskins, it’s looking increasingly likely that the 2019 Miami Dolphins might go 0-16.

“Even the Losers get lucky sometimes”, sang the late Tom Petty on many occasions in his illustrious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame career. But today, The Heartbreakers played down in South Beach. Yes, we’re talking about the stinky fish that are the Miami Dolphins. I know, Dolphins are allegedly mammals, but they continue to be stinky fish and are not winning a game this year.

After seeing Josh Rosen not be the Chosen One on Sunday versus the equally dysfunctional and winless Washington Redskins, Miami’s new Big Tuna Brian Flores was done seeing his guppy getting swallowed up in the whirlpool that was the Washington pass rush. Rosen was sacked five times and Flores then rolled the dice with his backup Ryan Fitzpatrick, praying for some FitzMagic.

And we almost got it. Down 17-3, Fitzpatrick was FitzMagic Lite on Sunday afternoon, as he brought the floundering ‘Phins back within one. Then, the Dolphins decided to go for two and that worked about as well as fish out of water. It was a pitiful 2-point attempt for the NFL’s most pitiful team. Miami now falls to 0-5 on the year. That was a win to be had but Miami had to lose, 17-16.

With four of their losses on the year being at home, Miami stands a chance to be the only franchise in NFL history with a perfect season and a winless season. The 1972 Dolphins are crying, Hootie and the Blowfish are crying, we’re all crying because this football team is so incredibly sad. But is there a chance maybe they’ll be 1-15 2007 Cam Cameron bad?

There is a chance. So you’re telling me there’s a chance? A slim one, but yes, Lloyd, there is a chance Miami could maybe think about winning a game. It’ll be in late December, but another terrible AFC franchise the Cincinnati Bengals could give Miami reason to believe in what will surely be A Long December for any fan of the Dolphins.

Cincinnati is in the same basement of rancid football as the Dolphins. Someone has to win that Week 16 game, right? But what if they tie? I’m not ruling that out, and neither should you. These two teams stink to high heaven.

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Truth be told, these are the two NFL teams that need are desperately in need of a franchise quarterback. Andy Dalton won’t be in Cincinnati next year. Who’s to say Rosen won’t be on his third team in three years? Someone has to win that game. Will it be Flores or Cincinnati’s Zac Taylor? Will we all lose just watching or even thinking about that game? Miami is so bad, it hurts.