LSU will smoke the Hogs like it’s a backyard BBQ

It’ll be the best team in the SEC vs. the worst team in the SEC on Saturday, as the LSU Tigers are about to have a barbecue vs. the Arkansas Razorbacks.

There are only a few guarantees in life: death, taxes and the LSU Tigers are going to absolutely humiliate the Arkansas Razorbacks on Saturday night. Yes, the No. 1 team in the land will welcome their saddest division rival into Tiger Stadium for not only a certain beat down but a Baton Rouge barbecue under the night sky. Coach O is licking his chops.

LSU and Arkansas will battle for the Golden Boot, but the only team that will be celebrating on Saturday night will be the Bayou Bengals, as the Hogs are about to get smoked and covered in whatever type of sauce you think tastes the best on pulled pork. Ketchup-based, vinegar-based, mustard-based, whatever. The Hogs are becoming barbecue, whether you like it or not.

We thought that the Ohio State Buckeyes vs. the Rutgers Scarlet Knights was poised to be the most lopsided conference game in the Power 5 this season. Turns out, the Buckeyes weren’t all that interested putting up 100 points on Rutgers in their SHI Stadium. The biggest bludgeoning we will see all season will be in Baton Rouge on Saturday night. The Hogs will get slaughtered.

Arkansas has already fired its former head coach in Chad Morris, a guy who had no clue how to win SEC conference games. The Hogs have two more shots at not going 0-for in conference play for the second consecutive season. Too bad there is zero chance that the Hogs can even dream about upsetting the Tigers in Death Valley. This year, Death Valley is where every team goes to die.

Sure, the Hogs can somehow pull out a weird one against the cross-divisional foe Missouri Tigers, who lost to the Wyoming Cowboys in Laramie on Labor Day Weekend. That’ll be the only semblance of hope for a Hogs’ SEC victory in 2019. The last time they won an SEC game, that was in 2017 against the Ole Miss Rebels and that was two head coaches ago!

Bret Bielema is not walking through that door. Bobby Petrino is not walking through that door. Houston Nutt is not walking through that door and most certainly, Frank Broyles is not walking through that door. The only thing walking through that door will be some sad barbecued Hogs for the Bayou Bengals to celebrate clinching the SEC West crown for the first time since 2011.

The good thing for Arkansas is that the season will be over in two weeks. The university accepted that Morris was a colossal failure and will get another head coach to guide the Razorbacks’ way into the 2020s. Could that be the Memphis Tigers’ Mike Norvell, the Washington State Cougars’ Mike Leach or the Auburn Tigers’ Gus Malzahn? Anything will be better than Morris.

This year might have bee another catastrophe, but the Hogs’ future will be better, as this is 100 percent rock bottom, as in it can’t get any worse. Arkansas does have the facilities and the state’s backing to be a respectable team. They just need to recruit better and find the right coach. Until they find that guy, they’ll remain only barbecue. What kind of barbecue sauce would you like?

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