Say what?! Translating the peak college football coachspeak from Week 3
By John Buhler
You will learn so much from what these college football coaches said.
It’s a slow and arduous process, but we’ll master interpreting college football coachspeak.
The big key here is fully appreciating the redundant cliches of the most iconic Power 5 coaches in the sport. Not only are the gifted leading their teams to victories on the sidelines, but they are adept at the unintentional vernacular of their second language. Like Parseltongue, coaches like Mike Gundy, Brian Kelly and Dabo Swinney can speak it without even knowing they can do it.
The goal is to be less dumb by interpreting college football coachspeak.
Mike Gundy on Oklahoma State overcoming adversity at home vs. Tulsa.
“I was proud of our team,” said Gundy. “We got put in a unique situation there for a while, had to regroup, particularly on offense. Defense was fabulous. I’m thrilled with the guys for fighting through all the adversity and finding a way to win at the end.”
Coachspeak Translator: Gundy understands his alma mater nearly lost at home to Tulsa. Losing a player like Spencer Sanders to injury isn’t ideal, but the Cowboys are supposedly a better team than scoring only 16 points to the Golden Hurricane. While he loves the Pokes defense, Gundy probably wanted a little bit more out of star running back Chuba Hubbard in this one.
Billy Napier on the weird expectations to beat a team on the road as a rarely ranked team.
“I think human nature, when everybody’s patting you on the back, maybe you relax a little bit,” said Napier. “I feel like we practiced well. I feel like practice was up to par. I do think that, no matter what, some of that has a residual effect on you. I think it’s important we learned a good lesson here.”
Coachspeak Translator: Billy Napier is a great emerging head coach, but he didn’t expect to be ranked and have “expectations” this early in the season. Being able to overcome a massive deficit on the road vs. the Georgia State Panthers is a huge feather in the cap for the Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns, but this team is far from the best out of the Group of 5 and Napier knows that well.
Brian Kelly on where Notre Dame is as a program compared to where South Florida is at.
“Yeah, for varying reasons, I don’t spend much time on that,” said Kelly. “But now that you’ve asked the question, you know, we’re certainly much further along. When I took over the program, the program was not winning. It is now a winning program. We just talked about 20 consecutive wins at home. I think South Florida is in a similar situation. So it’s hard to compare, right.”
“They are on some hard times. You know, that’s why there’s a new coach there. So it’s really hard to compare apples-to-apples from that standpoint. We just kind of look at where we are and the consistency that we’ve built more so than anything else, and they have got a good coach. They have got good coaches.”
“It’s a great recruiting area. I’m sure that South Florida is going to be a team to be reckoned with in their conference in the not-too-distant future.”
Coachspeak Translator: Kelly admits that Notre Dame football used to suck before he got there, but now the Irish don’t. Mr. Nice Guy is no more. While he’s totally cool hanging over half a hundred on a rebuilding USF team Steve Spurrier style, he respects what Jeff Scott is trying to do down in Tampa, Florida to get this typically relevant Group of 5 program back on track.
Dabo Swinney on treating how Clemson prepares the same for all teams the same way.
“Yeah, well, we won’t prepare any different than we prepared for The Citadel,” said Swinney. “To be honest with you, we just do what we do. We’ll show up Monday ready, we met on Monday, we have a daily focus each day. The only difference is we do have a little extra time to get ready for Virginia, so we’ll get a chance to see them play.”
“We haven’t seen them play yet. I think they play Duke next weekend, so we’ll get a chance to see them play a game. But we do what we do. Really no different.”
Coachspeak Translator: Dabo doesn’t view the Virginia Cavaliers as much of a threat. Keep in mind the 2019 Clemson Tigers beat the brakes off the Hoos in the 2019 ACC Championship game. Unless Clemson is taking on Notre Dame, North Carolina or Miami this season, the opposition poses no threat to the favorite to win the College Football Playoff.
Manny Diaz on feeling good after getting a slight upset road victory to get to 2-0 on the year.
“That’s a very excited locker room right across the hall,” said Diaz. “A lot to fix, but a lot to be proud of…The explosive plays, it was what we wanted to be, and I thought D’Eriq [King] was poised and in control…We can still be so much better. The penalties were drive killers. I think the weirdness of the crowd noise bothered us in the beginning.”
Coachspeak Translator: Diaz isn’t going to say it, but his Miami Hurricanes team is starting to give off The U, Part Three vibes. While beat UAB at home is one thing, beating a ranked Louisville team in Kentucky is another. Miami has plenty of ways to get better, but if they get to 3-0 after slaughtering Florida State at home this weekend, your thumbs will touch on raised hands.
If there is a theme to this week’s coachspeak interpretation lesson plan, it is that winning is a cure-all. Just win on Saturday. Whether your team is winning in uncharted territory, winning to avoid being humiliated or beating the tar out of a team your program is clearly better than, you can have the confidence to say whatever you want at the podium and not embarrass yourself.
We’ve learned so much already, but you just wait until Big Ten and SEC head coaches start talking.
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