A rose by any other name might smell sweet, but a college football player’s name can make him a damn internet legend.
Over the years in college football, we’ve seen countless terrific names pass through the sport from all across the country. Yet, with the rise of social media and the ease of access with information, it feels like the great names are more plentiful than ever.
So as I dove into the science of finding the best names in college football for the 2022 season (an arduous and highly tedious process in which I used my gut instincts and which names just stuck with me the most), I came out with the best at each position. I came out with the FanSided All-Name Team for the 2022 season.
Best names in college football 2022: Quarterbacks, Running Backs, Wide Receivers
QB: General Booty, Oklahoma Sooners
Considering the team is named after him, there was no question that General Booty was the choice at quarterback. Now at Oklahoma after transferring in from Tyler Junior College, Booty has not yet played a snap at the FCS level and won’t be the Sooners starter behind Dillon Gabriel. But the nephew of former USC quarterback John David Booty keeps that legacy alive with his iconic name.
RB: Tank Bigsby, Auburn Tigers
Oddly enough, I felt like the running back position was a bit barren in the great name department. However, it’s hard to argue with a due trying to mow defenders over being named Tank. Even better, Bigsby has proven to be one of the best backs in the country at Auburn. After rushing for 1,099 and 10 scores last season, he could be a huge factor in the SEC for the Tigers.
WR: Decoldest Crawford, Nebraska Cornhuskers
A native of Shreveport, LA, many thought the beautifully-named Decoldest Toevadoit Crawford was headed to LSU. But the wide receiver decommitted in late 2021 and ended up with Scott Frost (for now, at least) at Nebraska. Coming in as a 3-star recruit, there aren’t huge expectations for Crawford on the field, but rest assured that the college football world will always know his name.
WR: Boogie Knight, Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks
Paul Thomas Anderson’s favorite player, the Akron transfer is now at ULM and has been somewhat productive across four seasons and two programs to this point, most notably catching 45 balls for 588 yards and three scores with the Warhawks last season. Roller Girl would approve, no doubt.
WR: Phat Watts, Tulane Green Wave
The 6-foot wide receiver has played in 21 games over the past two years and now comes into his extra COVID season looking to get out of the 200-yard zone he’s been in the past two seasons. If there is a “sounds like he might’ve opened for Miles Davis at a jazz club” rating on the forthcoming NCAA Football game, though, Watts’ rating will be off the charts.