What made baseball fun this week: Willson Contreras turns heel, one way ticket to Randyland
By John Buhler
This. Is. Florida. Baseball!: I don’t want to go to Walt Disney World, I want to go to Randyland instead!
Fact: Florida was underwater for a reason. It is the Mount Everest of the Lower 48. What other state actively tries to kill you while you’re inside of it? The last time I was there, it gave me COVID. Team Bout That, I will never forget you. I said I was never going back, but then i saw THIS and I am willing to sell my blood to fund a trip to Randyland. The Tampa Bay Rays are Florida baseball, y’all!
Today marked the debut of “Randy Land” in section 141 of Tropicana Field. When Randy Arozarena homers, everyone sitting in the section gets free beer.
— John Sparaco™ (@JohnSparaco) May 5, 2023
It took Arozarena ONE at-bat to deliver.pic.twitter.com/iQHZUk6YEo
I don’t know what kind of beverages they serve at The Trop, but Randyland seems like the place to be. These must be the vibes Harry Potter had after pounding some Felix Felicis before paying his dear friend Hagrid a visit. I don’t know if those are Reel Big Fish in right center, but I will Sell Out in order to find out. It could just be Jello, but if it’s the real thing, then you could just Take Me On, bro.
There is no state income tax in Florida for a reason. People will spend their hard-earned money they don’t have to dip their toes into The Florida Man lifestyle. I can’t possibly imagine having to be a census collector in that state, as the people and the wildlife become one. The only people I would trust to guide me through the most dangerous place on Earth are Theo Von and Randy Arozarena.
When this team wins Rob Manfred’s piece of metal, it goes into the water as Tom Brady intended.
Look good, feel good, play good | But what about the fans???