5 new Washington Commanders nicknames to end name-change cycle forever

The Washington Commanders are once again mulling over the possibility of a name change. Here are five ideas to end the cycle once and for all. 

The Washington Commanders have only been the Washington Commanders for a little over a year. Before that was a brief stint as the ‘Washington Football Team,’ and before that of course was a long and much-maligned stint as the Washington Redskins.

While it was past time for Washington to move beyond their previous moniker, it’s hard to get excited about a team called the ‘Commanders.’ It’s a fitting name for the D.C. locals. A military term, a term associated with power and command, something Washington would very much like to achieve on the football field.

And yet, the name has been met with universal eye rolls and a general lack of enthusiasm — so much so that new ownership could change the name again.

The Commanders were sold earlier in the week to an ownership group helmed by current Philadelphia 76ers owner Josh Harris. One high-profile minority owner is Magic Johnson, who hinted at the possibility of another name change to reinvigorate the franchise.

Here are five names that are better than ‘Commanders’ and good enough to end this cycle once and for all.

No. 5 Washington Commanders alternate name: Armada

The ‘Washington Armada’ was pitched as a possibility before ‘Commanders’ was officially picked in 2022. It’s a simple but effective name for a team based out of the nation’s capitol. It’s another military term, but there’s something more intimidating about a fleet of battleships compared to a bunch of military generals.

Side note: let’s please avoid ‘Washington Generals’ too, or god forbid somethin
g like ‘Washington Presidents.’ Why are we trying to equate football players to soldiers or government officials? ‘Armada’ incorporates a wide-ranging history of ships and maritime adventure.

The Los Angels Clippers have a monopoly on nautical sports nicknames at the moment, and come on — Armada is superior to Clippers by a millionfold.