Group of Six coaches want their own playoff and the jokes write themselves

Remember the Seinfeld episode when Kramer and Newman got into a heated competition over who could throw the better millennium party? Newman had been planning his "Newmannium" since 1978, when he put down a deposit at a revolving restaurant overlooking Times Square and booked Christopher Cross to perform.

That's right. Newman had been planning this thing since Jimmy Carter was president.

But Kramer had his own Millennium celebration in the works, and neither was particularly interested in attending the other's party. Nearly 30 years later, college football appears ready to produce its own version of this ridiculous sitcom rivalry.

The College Football Playoff already has its exclusive postseason celebration, and technically, the Group of Six is on the guest list. But with just one guaranteed invitation to a 12-team party, usually reserved for a program hanging around the bottom of the national rankings, it's not exactly VIP treatment.

It seems the Group of Six coaches are tired of being allowed past the velvet rope only to discover they've been seated at the kids' table. So now they want to throw their own party, and everyone is trying to get Elaine to come.

And honestly, this might be the most college football thing ever.

Group of Six coaches are ready for a college football breakup

According to a survey conducted by On3's Brett McMurphy and Pete Nakos, 40 of the 61 Group of Six head coaches favor creating a separate playoff outside the CFP.

That's nearly two-thirds of the coaches outside the Power Four effectively telling college football's power brokers that they're tired of trying to get into their party, so now they want to thumb their noses at the system.

In essence, they're saying fine. Keep your fancy playoff. We'll start our own. We'll have a trophy. We'll have TV. We'll even have a selection committee that can spend six weeks arguing about whether a three-loss team deserves to get in over somebody with one loss (you know, all the things that make college football so wonderful today).

Of course, there's a catch. The coaches reportedly want to keep their access to the CFP while establishing their own postseason championship. This makes it less of a clean breakup and more like telling your significant other you need some space, but you'd still like to keep a key to the apartment.

And who can blame them?

The financial and competitive gap between the Power Four programs and everyone else continues to grow. The Group of Six programs are increasingly being asked to compete in a sport where the biggest brands control most of the money, television attention, and postseason opportunities.

What should the Group of Six call its new consolation playoff?

Before anyone starts ordering championship rings, there's an important piece of business to address. What exactly are we going to call this thing?

The Group of Six Playoff? That's utilitarian (like a Jeep), but hardly inspiring.
The College Football Invitational? Sounds like something you'd watch on a Tuesday afternoon while pretending to work.
The People's Choice Playoff? Now we're getting somewhere. Nothing says college football quite like a postseason competition marketed as a rebellion against the establishment.

Or perhaps we could embrace the obvious comparison and call it the College Football NIT.

College basketball already has a perfectly respectable postseason tournament for teams that don't make the NCAA Tournament. Why shouldn't football get its own version? Just imagine the marketing possibilities.

One national championship. Two postseason tournaments. Three dozen arguments about which one actually matters. ESPN could even produce a two-hour selection show, complete with analysts debating which teams got snubbed from the tournament for teams that were already snubbed.

That's content gold.

And, naturally, we'd need to create a trophy, and there's really only one serious choice for that. A trophy that speaks to the importance of the postseason. A trophy that is immediately recognizable and carries its own swagger. A trophy fans have been clamoring for since 2014.

It's time to bring back the Crystal Football!

Currently, the Waterford Crystal football is awarded each year to the No. 1 team in the final Amway/AFCA Coaches Poll. I'm sure for some of you, you'll be today years old when you discovered there was still a coaches poll. But there's no reason the Group of Six shouldn't and couldn't shanghai this beauty for themselves.

College football fans deserve more than a second invitation

Here's where the jokes become a little less funny (and if you didn't think I was being funny so far, then I got nothing for you. These are the jokes).

What happens to the fans?

Imagine being a lifelong Boise State supporter, watching your program spend years building a reputation by beating top-tier opponents and challenging college football's hierarchy. Or rooting for Memphis or James Madison, believing that the next great season might finally give your team a chance to compete on the sport's biggest stage.

Now imagine being told that your "chance" is a championship in a separate postseason tournament.

Sure, winning that championship would be exciting. There would be meaningful games, passionate crowds, and opportunities for programs that rarely get national recognition. But would it carry the same weight?

Would fans celebrate a College Football NIT championship the same way they would celebrate a legitimate chance to compete for the CFP title? Some might. Others might see it as college football officially acknowledging what they've suspected for years: there are two distinct levels of FBS football, and the powers that be would prefer we all stop pretending otherwise.

That's the uncomfortable reality under all the Newmannium jokes.

A separate playoff might create a terrific postseason product. It might also make the Group of Six's place in college football's hierarchy even more permanent. Fans who have spent decades dreaming about crashing the big party might not appreciate being handed directions to a lesser gathering.

The Group of Six better bring more than everyday balloons

Maybe the Group of Six can pull this off. Maybe its playoff becomes an entertaining December tradition, complete with packed stadiums, wild upsets, and a championship game that delivers everything fans love about college football.

There is absolutely enough talent and passion across those programs to make it interesting. But if the goal is to create something that feels like a genuine national championship, the organizers had better understand what they're up against.

Because in that same Seinfeld episode, Kramer was so enthusiastic about his millennium celebration that he started decorating years before the actual event. When Jerry questioned whether his balloons would stay inflated until New Year's Eve, Kramer explained that those weren't his party decorations.

They were his everyday balloons.

And that might be the biggest challenge facing a separate Group of Six playoff. You can throw your own party. You can invite everybody you want. You can even give it a fancy name and hand out a championship trophy at the end.

But if college football fans look at your grand postseason celebration and see nothing more than everyday balloons, you've got a problem, especially when everybody knows where the real party is.

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