The best, worst and dumbest moments from NFL Sunday, Week 3

What a Sunday. We had winless teams winning, lossless teams losing, 12 one-score games, a game of chicken in Brazil, and it all ended with an absolute banger of a Sunday Night game between Super Bowl hopefuls.

There’s a lot that happened, and there’s a lot you might’ve missed. So let’s take a look back and celebrate all the best, worst, and dumbest things that happened with some superlatives and awards. 

Rookie of the week: Sonny Styles

The vibes around Washington were in hell this week. Jayden Daniels gunked up his elbow last week, the coaching staff looked completely over their skis, and they were looking forward to a Week 3 game against a piping hot Seahawks team. Everything was bad.

Then Sonny Styles, the linebacker that the Commanders drafted seventh overall, walked on the field. Not only did he have four tackles, but he also broke up a pair of passes … one of which was a big-time downfield shot to Jadarian Price before halftime. Then, to ice the cake, he forced a fumble (that Washington recovered) and got his first career interception.

In a game that the Commanders miraculously won 33-31, and Sam Darnold threw for 379 yards, Styles kept at least seven points off the board by turning into a cloud of Mustard Gas. 

Justice?: Sean Payton/Bill Vinovich

One of the most impactful and important no-calls in recent history was the NOLA No-Call in the 2018 NFC Championship Game, when the Rams’ Nickell Robey-Coleman hammered the Saints’ Tommylee Lewis and didn’t get called for defensive pass interference. 

The head coaches in that game were Sean McVay and Sean Payton, the head referee of that crew was Bill Vinovich, the back judge (not that it matters for this) was Todd Prukop, and the play happened on the seven-yard line on the near side of the field.

Fast forward to Sunday Night Football, and the Rams get called for a really dumb defensive pass interference that takes away an interception and allows the Broncos to score the go-ahead touchdown. 

Wouldn’t you know it? Sean McVay, Sean Payton, Bill Vinovich, Todd Prukop, seven-yard line, near side.

Was this a makeup call almost a decade after one of the biggest farts we’ve ever seen? Or was this purely a coincidence? It’s probably definitely the latter, but it’s still really weird that so much of the stuff was the same.

Darnell Washington Play of the Week: Darnell Washington’s 47-yard catch-and-run

Darnell Washington is one of my favorite players in the NFL, and he should be one of your favorite players too. He’s the Steelers’ six-foot-seven tight end, who is listed at 264 pounds … But he’s every single bit of 310. If you’re somehow not familiar with him, get acquainted:

This week, Washington had a career-long 47-yard reception to help set up Pittsburgh’s go-ahead field goal … So yeah, the situation was great, but this is Darnell Washington we’re talking about. He rocks when he’s moving, and this time, he broke 30-ish tackles. 

I mean … just, wow. He would’ve broken even more tackles, but DK Metcalf, Germie Bernard, and Ben Skoronek all made solid blocks. I get wanting to be a good teammate and wanting to win and all of that … But it sure would’ve been a whole lot cooler if they all let the Bengals defense try to make the tackles, so that we could see Washington reach his final form.

Ding-dong of the Week: Brian Schottenheimer

Dak Prescott scrambled to the Ravens’ five-yard line. Instead of letting the clock run down to three seconds, the Cowboys opted to take their final timeout with 14 seconds left. Two plays and seven seconds later, they kicked a field goal to tie the game at 31-31. 

That left seven seconds on the clock. On the ensuing kickoff, the Cowboys booted the ball through the back of the end zone instead of putting it in play and making the Ravens kill the clock. On the first play of the drive, Lamar Jackson hit Zay Flowers for a 27-yard gain. The Ravens took their last timeout, and Tyler Loop kicked a 56-yard field goal to win as the clock hit zero. 

The Cowboys' field goal was wildly cowardly because that’s playing for overtime and not playing for a win, but it’s understandable.

What isn’t understandable is playing for overtime and then following that up with a kickoff strategy that is entirely counterintuitive to playing for overtime. That kind of decision from a head coach is exactly how you become the Ding-Dong of the week, and it’s poetic justice that they lost immediately after he made that decision. 

Marcus Aurelius: Jameis Winston

We got another Jameis Winston start, which means we got another stoic Jameis Winston pregame quote that makes absolutely no sense at all. 

He was asked: “How confident are you in carrying this team forward?” He answered, “One thing that I do is forgetting those that is behind. And reaching forward to what’s ahead.” So, yeah … Clear as mud.

Unfortunately, this one was less of a weird quote and more a premonition, because he did exactly that during the game. He reached forward to hand the ball off to Cam Skattebo, forgot where the play was going, stepped directly into Skattebo's path, and dropped him for a four-yard loss behind the line of scrimmage. It’s poetic, really.

Team to stop watching: The Dolphins

Unless you’re a true glutton for punishment, masochist, or some type of perverted anti-football sadist, the only reason you would watch the Dolphins is Devon Achane.

I have bad news for you, you sicko: Achane hurt his knee on Sunday and left the game. When Jeff Hafley was asked about the severity of it, he said, “Hopefully I’ll have more to give you tomorrow, but to be very honest with you, it does not sound very optimistic at this moment…” So, that’s a huge bummer.

Thawed Veins: Joe Burrow

If you’re down a score with less than four minutes left in a game, there are only a few quarterbacks that you really trust to go downfield and win the game: Jalen Hurts, Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, and Joe Burrow. Those are the dudes with ice in their veins. 

If Week 3 told us anything, it’s that Burrow might have gotten chilly and turned the heat up a little bit. 

The Bengals were down 30-27 to the Steelers with 2:15 left and the ball on their own 30-yard line. We’ve seen this movie before: Burrow hits bombs to his elite receivers, and they move downfield in about four plays. 

Well, in four plays the Bengals made it to Pittsburgh’s 38-yard line. All they had to do was be smart, and the worst thing that could happen was they kick a field goal and go to overtime. 

Burrow was not smart. He got pressured, escaped Derrick Harmon’s first attempt at a sack, only to get strip-sacked by Harmon two seconds later. The Steelers recovered that fumble, took a couple of knees, and walked away with a win.

I’m not saying Burrow isn’t clutch, but he’s definitely on my potentially-not-clutch radar. 

Stat of the Week: “On Pace for” stats

Three weeks into a season is when you start seeing some tendencies. That’s cool because that means we’re starting to learn what some teams are really all about … But it’s bad because that means the “___ is on pace for ___” guys are starting to creep out wherever the hell we locked them up at. 

On Sunday, I saw several people say Travis Kelce is on pace for 1,300 receiving yards. I saw that Trey McBride is on pace for 193 targets. And I saw that Jaxon Smith-Njigba is on pace for 2,295 yards. It all stinks, and it’s the lowest form analysis.

And don’t give me none of that, “Oh Jake, you don’t get it. They’re making a joke.  No one believes that’ll happen. They’re being satirical.”

A. That’s not a joke, and it’s not cute. B. Some ding-dong on Twitter is going to take that number seriously and run with it. And C. I get satire, baby. You want satire? I’ll give you satire…

Fake-out of the Week: Drake Maye

If you’re playing fetch with a dog, you eventually do a pump fake. The dog thinks you threw the ball and runs to find something that’s not there … But that only really works a handful of times before the dog wises up. Then you have to change your game and get creative. 

Drake Maye’s been having an objectively terrible season, so he tried to change things up. Instead of doing a normal pump-fake to Kyle Williams, Maye used his transcendent brain to drop the ball behind his back and pump-fake with nothing in his hand.

In theory, that’s a great plan. There’s a chance that all 11 guys on defense get fooled. Unfortunately, that’s considered a fumble or something like that, and this plan didn’t even work at all. As a matter of fact, the Jags recovered it and scored a handful of plays later. 

Maye took a chance at playing 5D chess, and it didn’t work out. It’ll be fun to see what he cooks up for us next week.

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