Fansided

Diamondbacks sold 1,000 churro dogs on Opening Day

By Stanford Crissey

Mar 30, 2015; Jupiter, FL, USA; A fan wears a hot dog hat during a game between the Washington Nationals and the St. Louis Cardinals at Roger Dean Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 30, 2015; Jupiter, FL, USA; A fan wears a hot dog hat during a game between the Washington Nationals and the St. Louis Cardinals at Roger Dean Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports /
facebooktwitterreddit

1,000 people reportedly bought the Diamondbacks’ new churro dog in its first day of availability

Arteries throughout Arizona are bursting, as 1,000 people have danced with the devil and sampled the Arizona Diamondbacks‘ newly available churro dog.

ESPN’s Darren Rovell reported the numbers, plus a photo of the churro dog in all its glory:

More from Arizona Diamondbacks

Now the question is, are those good sales or bad sales? It’s hard to tell; there’s no real benchmark for churro dog success.

Some of you undoubtedly missed the memo on the churro dog the first time around. If that’s the case, you probably have a few questions, and we’re here to answer them.

1. What on earth is a churro dog?

Well, it’s basically exactly what it sounds like–a churro inside a hot dog bun, except the hot dog bun is a donut. Oh, and there’s frozen yogurt as well, which is topped with caramel and hot fudge, for a grand total of 1,1117 calories, or roughly 55 percent of your daily quota.

2. Why?

Your guess is as good as ours.

3. Why are MLB teams trying to kill us?

That’s a valid question. It seems like every year, crazier and crazier concessions emerge from the woodwork. In Arizona, they’ve got the churro dog; the Rays offer free tickets to anyone who can finish their four-pound burger; and the White Sox are offering a 12-scoop banana split sundae in a full-size batting helmet. Take me out to the ballgame, then the hospital.

4. Who is the market for the churro dog?

Most likely masochists, people who have always wondered what it would be like to have a cavity, and dentists (for research purposes).

5. Will I die if I eat this?

That’s unlikely, but we can’t make any promises.

Naturally, the churro dog has inspired quite the conversation, both on ESPN, where broadcasters broke down the new concession item in detail, and on Twitter, where many chronicled their attempts to vanquish the 1,100 calorie beast.

NO DON’T DO IT SAVE YOURSELF

Some saw the churro dog as a success…

…and some saw it as a failure.

And some are Will Ferrell.

More from FanSided

Home/Arizona Diamondbacks