Hot coffee, cold takes: A.M. headlines for Wednesday, September 9

Running down the morning headlines for Wednesday, September 9.

Next: Ranking The 32 NFL Offenses For 2015

The return of football has really put a dent in my ability to do these morning headline posts. Saturdays are all about College GameDay, and then switching to night shifts to cover the opening slate of games really flipped things upside-down. Nothing like closing, taking a day off, opening, taking a day off, working a mid and then opening to really toggle the ol’ circadian rhythms.

Alas, that’s the name of the game sometimes. And besides, whenever I feel as though I’m going bat s–t crazy, there’s always the weird, wide world of sports to snap things back into perspective. Let’s dive right into the vacuum.

On to the headlines.

Feb 2, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, USA; New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (left) and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell pose with the Pete Rozelle trophy during the Super Bowl XLIX-Winning Head Coach and MVP Press Conference at Media Center-Press Conference Room B. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Goodell and Pats are star-crossed lovers

Story: ESPN dropped a monster story on Tuesday, alleging that Roger Goodell actually took things easy on the Patriots during the SpyGate scandal oh so many moons ago. According to an Outside the Lines report, the Sheriff told some teams to cover up information about the Pats cheating, even though seemingly the entire league was wary of the Patriots stealing signals and playbooks. Goodell then went hard in the paint during DeflateGate because he felt betrayed and was overcorrecting from SpyGate.

Cold Take: There will be about a billion and one takes, conspiracy theories and think pieces written on this one. Here’s one you likely won’t get from the Mothership’s army of talking heads: supersaturation. It’s been nine months of Goodell-Patriots standoffs. By this point nothing short of a sinkhole opening at the 50-yard line of Gillette Stadium and swallowing the Sheriff, Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, Bob Craft and a weepy Gisele will move the needle. You know a story has peaked when even faux-outrage can’t get up for the fight.

Sep 8, 2015; New York, NY, USA; Serena Williams of the USA (left) hugs sister Venus Williams of the USA after their match on day nine of the 2015 U.S. Open tennis tournament at USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center. Mandatory Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

Serena Williams continues march toward history

Story: It took all three sets and a tank full of emotions, but Serena Williams was able to beat her sister, Venus, during Tuesday’s quarterfinals match at the US Open.

Cold Take: It’s hard to imagine the impact if Venus had won. On one hand, how awkward would Thanksgiving have been this year? On the other, if you’re going to lose your first Grand Slam match in over a calendar year it might as well be to your sister. Solid effort by Venus giving little sis all she should handle before falling in three. Wonder if she beat Serena in a wrestling match afterward just to reassert her big sister dominance in another arena.

Golden State Warriors guard Klay Thompson (11) and guard Stephen Curry (30) celebrates with the Larry O'Brien Trophy after beating the Cleveland Cavaliers in game six of the NBA Finals at Quicken Loans Arena. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports — Golden State Warriors guard Klay Thompson (11) and guard Stephen Curry (30) celebrates with the Larry O’Brien Trophy after beating the Cleveland Cavaliers in game six of the NBA Finals at Quicken Loans Arena. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

The NBA changes its playoff seeding format

Story: The NBA has altered its playoff format by eliminating seeding based on divisions. Essentially: division winners will not be guaranteed a top-four seed; everything is awarded by record.

Cold Take: Of all the major North American sports leagues, the NBA is the one whose divisions have meant the least (Do you know who’s in the Northwest Division? Pacific? Central?).

This is a step in the right direction, but it won’t alter the main gripe about NBA Playoffs that subpar teams from one conference (lately the Eastern) still get in while tough teams from the other sit at home. Until a complete 16-team reshuffling happens that’ll forever be the gripe. Also: there’s been no answer for tanking.

Terry Gilliam is not dead

Story: A scrapped story from Variety made the world believe it had lost another Python. Thankfully, Terry Gilliam is not dead.

Cold Take: It’s amazing how ahead of their time the guys in Monty Python were. Every year it seems like comedy becomes even more derivative of their bizarre style.

Beyond that, Gilliam is a treasure. His work on Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was masterful. It takes a sufficiently warped mind to harness a Hunter S. Thompson novel, bottle it up and package it for the big screen – and Gilliam adapted it perfectly. He also pulled out Brad Pitt’s best acting role to date in 12 Monkeys and made a sharp, successful audible with the The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus following Heath Ledger’s untimely passing.

Thankfully, Gilliam hasn’t passed over and still has time to look on the bright side of life.

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