J.R. Smith makes his case for teammate of the year

J.R. Smith is a very talented man. He can play basketball really good and do some other things good too probably. One might remember that earlier in the year he decided to bring these talents to bear in a run for president.

The United States of Swish is in good hands. Unfortunately, The United States of Swish is a fictional place, otherwise I might be taking a four-year vacation there.

Building off this success, J.R. is now on track in a new campaign, but this time his campaign will be taking him into the world of reality.

Your frontrunner for Teammate of the Year — J.R. Smith.

It doesn’t sound quite as presidential as “President” and, sure, Teammate of the Year isn’t a real award either, but teammates are real. Dabbing blood off their face holes so they can take one point shots is important to teammates.

Here’s one of those teammates speaking words at a microphone.

Ignore the part about Matthew Dellavedova. He’s not a teammate any more. Kevin Love would double down on his praise later on with a strangely-worded tweet.

Maybe it’s the blood loss, but Mr. Love sees a Dr. President J.R. Smith in the future. And maybe we should too. His gift for treatment goes beyond just physical health; he does mental health stuff too. Here he is supporting his teammates in a collective moment of weakness.

Rooting for the Buckeyes is not an easy habit to break, but if anyone can help it’s J.R.

J.R. has both worn a shirt and not worn a shirt this year. His defense on Iguodala allowed LeBron’s chasedown block to happen. His shooting is key to the Cavaliers being on track to come out on top in the Eastern Conference for the third straight year. All these things are basically the definition of teammaticity. It’s hard to believe this is the same man who once did whatever this was:

But knowing what we know now, it’s not hard to believe that J.R. was actually planning to retie Marion’s shoe in a better, more friendly fashion. He just ran out of time because Dirk rudely rushed his free throw. In fact, pretty much anything that happened in the past to put J.R. in a bad light was probably not his fault.

Read More: The Wizards are bad and Markieff Morris is angry

Except elbowing Jason Terry in the face. That one is probably still on him. But we won’t show that here.

Whoops. My finger slipped.

Next time you do anything, think to yourself “What would J.R. Smith do in this situation?” and then do exactly that. People will love you for it, and the world will be a better place.