The 10 weirdest NBA timeout entertainment spectacles

5. Eventually clowns were going to show up too

There are various festivals in various cultures of the world in which clowns make a critical social contribution. Once a year for the length of the celebration, there are clowns who are charged to use humor and mockery to highlight the deficiencies of their high and their pompous. Being a clown is an honor. It’s a sacred role. They are indemnified from actions that would seem in violation of the cultural norm because their very purpose is to break this norm.

The norm has frailties that need exposing, and often these frailties rest at the top. Those at the top are often insulated from criticism or even basic judgment. For the length of these festivals, the clowns serve to restore a balance. The clowns allow these societies to function by establishing a basic shared humanity among the community.

Ronald McDonald sells bad food to children.

But it’s not enough to take a family’s money to make their kids worse. Ronald then goes to Portland to make the children compete in a “putting on clothes and then be bad at sports” race. He’s out there on the court with them, screaming obscenities in their face and promising starvation to the two who lose. Death is an escape, but dying is a slow road.

This clown is a bad clown. His motivations are unclear, and my stream cut out before I was certain everyone was safe. That could be Tim Curry in there. Everyone in that arena may now be dead. There’d be no way of knowing.