Fansided

The official Step Back NBA Awards Show drinking game

By Jeremy Lambert

Nov 30, 2016; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard (8) jokingly pretends to drink from a courtside fans beer cup against the Phoenix Suns at Talking Stick Resort Arena. The Suns defeated the Hawks 109-107. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
Nov 30, 2016; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard (8) jokingly pretends to drink from a courtside fans beer cup against the Phoenix Suns at Talking Stick Resort Arena. The Suns defeated the Hawks 109-107. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports /
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This year, the NBA decided to copy other leagues and hold an awards show. My theory is that they want the lasting impression to be of the great regular season and not of the predictable playoffs. The show will be hosted by Drake, who you may know from your radio or your television. He’s a fan of whoever is winning, posing as the ambassador for the Toronto Raptors.

These award shows are a chore to get through. People don’t care about bad jokes or musical performances or highlights that they’ve seen a million times. They just want to see Russell Westbrook’s MVP speech. With the advent of social media, you don’t even have to watch the show. Just see the reactions and wait for the clip to be posted a minute later.

However, should you choose to watch, I advise that you have alcohol on hand. And if you want to have fun during an award show that’ll last longer than an actual game, I advise that you play our drinking game.

Rules:

  • Take a sip of wine every time Drake mentions the Warriors or a member of the Warriors. Make sure you have at least two bottles of wine for this.
  • Take six shots every time Drake mentions Toronto. BONUS: honor playoff DeMar DeRozan by having five of those shots miss your mouth.
  • Drink three double IPAs if Russell Westbrook takes a shot at Kevin Durant in his MVP speech.
  • Chug your favorite beer during Drake’s entire monologue.
  • Finish the closest bottle to you if music plays during the middle of a speech.
  • Take a shot of dark rum if Kawhi Leonard wins an award. BONUS: Take an extra shot for every word Kawhi says during his speech.
  • Put one bottle of wine on the shelf every time Joel Embiid or Dario Saric say the word “Process” during their Rookie of the Year speech. Drink every bottle when the Philadelphia 76ers win the NBA title.
  • Drink anytime there is forced laughter.
  • Drink what high school you drank when a player drafted in the 90’s is a presenter. The player doesn’t have to be active, just drafted in the 90’s.
  • Take three shots of vodka if a member of the Houston Rockets wins an award. BONUS: If James Harden wins an award, you don’t have to take a single shot. You can go to the club and get as drunk as you want.
  • Drink ouzo if Giannis Antetokounmpo wins Most Improved. Drink cognac if Rudy Gobert wins. Drink vinjak if Nikola Jokic wins. If you have all three of these alcohols, go ahead and drink them all, no matter who wins. You probably spent a lot of money on each bottle. Don’t let it go to waste over the NBA awards.
  • Casually drink your beer and follow Joel Embiid live tweeting the show.
  • Pour out your diet soda if Lavar Ball is given a microphone.
  • Take a shot of tequila with no chaser until you believe that you can pull off whatever outfit Russell Westbrook is wearing.
  • Drink whenever the camera cuts to someone during Nicki Minaj’s performance. BONUS: Drink whenever the audio goes silent due to language during Minaj’s performance.
  • Finish whatever alcohol you have left if you make it to the end of the show. Sleep until July 1 when free agency starts.

Next: The 10 greatest mustaches in NBA history

And of course, always remember to drink responsibly.

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