3 extremely urgent facts about Mizzou’s Jontay Porter

Quick: Before Mizzou’s bounced from the NCAA tournament, learn and love Jontay Porter.

Jontay Porter is obviously good at basketball. He left high school early to join his brother, fellow freshman Michael Porter, Jr., at Missouri and has quickly endeared the Mizzou fanbase. He’s become the team’s most complete player — the Tigers’ most reliable scorer, rebounder, playmaker and shot-blocker. In Mizzou’s last three games, Jontay had 63 points, 23 rebounds and 12 assists, shooting 10 of 14 from 3. (And he’s a 6’11 big man!)

No. 8 Missouri is not a lock to win over No. 9 Florida State — they play at 9:50 p.m. ET — and 8/9 match-ups can almost always go either way. Which is just to say, this may be the national viewing audience’s one night with Jontay Porter. So it’s of the utmost importance you know just how wildly endearing and dorky Porter is.

A lovely story by Aaron Reiss in The Kansas City Star, in theory about his inquisitive nature and Mizzou’s aspiring March Madness run, revealed these three delightful facts.

1. He’s an expert bitcoin investor

Jontay sold half of his portfolio of cryptocurrencies, including Bitcoin, Litecoin, Ethereum, Ripple and Tron to pay for a car. And was upset about it because the market “was about to bounce back.”

Per the Kansas City Star:

"“I did my own research, obviously; that’s what you should always do if you’re investing,” said Porter, who began this venture by spending $300 on bitcoins and slowly invested “bits and chunks” of his student-athlete per diem in more cryptocurrencies, the market for which has since soured. “I’m obviously not going to put all of my money in cryptocurrency.”"

Obviously.

It’s #PaythePlayers all day every day, but in the meantime, maybe more student-athletes should take a class on cryptocurrency investment??

2. He’s an acclaimed vegan breakfast chef

The Porter family is, apparently, in the process of becoming raw vegans, which is a very trendy thing that inexplicably appeals to a lot of people but specifically people inclined to play professional basketball. Jontay’s embraced this change by “workshopp[ing] variations of his pancake recipe, which had been the best in the family when it included dairy.”

3. He’s an elite iPhone fixer

Back as an entrepreneurial sixth grader, Jontay was big into jailbreaking and repairing iPhones, working a nice little Craigslist hustle. He gave this up to focus on basketball, as you do, but the Kansas City Star says he still keeps spare glass around to fix his own cell phone, which is a truly elite skill. Imagine not having to worry about breaking your phone’s screen because you always constantly have the power to just fix it on your own. Imagine having a friend who could do that, a friend who is also crazy good at basketball.

Next: 5 most amazing one-man March Madness machines

Jontay Porter is also super into flying drones, but that’s significantly less cool than pancake recipes and fixing your own iPhone and not quite as novel as actually being good at Bitcoin, so, as a fact, it deserves no place on any such list.