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Michigan is definitely losing to Loyola because that’s how karma works

By Shea Corrigan

LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 24: The Michigan Wolverines celebrates after defeating the Florida State Seminoles in the 2018 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament West Regional Final at Staples Center on March 24, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. The Michigan Wolverines defeated the Florida State Seminoles 58-54. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 24: The Michigan Wolverines celebrates after defeating the Florida State Seminoles in the 2018 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament West Regional Final at Staples Center on March 24, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. The Michigan Wolverines defeated the Florida State Seminoles 58-54. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images) /
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The young men of Michigan are talking an awful lot of trash, so, God and/or Sister Jean is probably going to smite them down in the Final Four.

Trash talk is a delightful and inarguably fun part of sports but everyone knows trash talk is the most fun when the team talking said trash gets beat decidedly and the Photoshop-adept among us can paste Crying Jordans to the faces of the athletes involved. As such, the law of trash talk and sports karma means that on Saturday, Michigan is going to lose real bad to Loyola in the Final Four.

Because Michigan is talking an awful lot of trash. In no particular order, courtesy of CBS Sports, Land of 10 and USA Today, here is the proof Michigan is about to lose.

“I don’t think Loyola knows what it’s getting into.” – Jordan Poole

“We can play it any way. If we play good defense, we can beat anyone. If our shots fall, we can beat anyone.” – Mo Wagner

“They call themselves pit bulls.” – John Beilein

“They have to slow down. I don’t know what’s in the water they’re drinking in Chicago right now, but it’s going to be fun.” – Charles Matthews

This entire exchange from Land of 10:

"You ready to be America’s Villains, Ibi Watson?Public Enemies No. 1 outside the 7-3-4?“Oh, definitely,” the Michigan swing man said after the Wolverines held off Florida State to advance to the Final Four of the 2018 NCAA Tournament, where they’ll face the aforementioned Ramblers next weekend in San Antonio.“I think we’ve got to embrace that role. I know a lot of guys will buy into that. And we’re looking to really just continue this.”Yeah, but at the expense of Sister Jean?“She’s like the face of the tournament right now,” Watson said of Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt, the 98-year-old nun and Loyola team chaplain who’s captured America’s heart.“She’s going to go down in history. We’ve got to get a picture with her and stuff.”With that, he smiled. Wickedly.“But hopefully, we can end up beating her and moving on.”That’s cold, man.You’re seriously cool with breaking a nun’s heart?“Naw, we would hate to do that,” Watson replied, smiling again.“But I don’t know. I heard she didn’t have them going in the bracket this far. So she can’t be that heartbroken.”"

“Yeah, that’s fine, they deserve [the adoring fans]. They played very good. I’m proud of their coaching staff and that they can prove that any team can go to the Final Four. And I think they’re making a real difference in today’s world when it comes to NCAA basketball.” – Isaiah Livers

“Pssssssht, I’ll be whatever character you want me to be. If I’m in the Final Four, I don’t care about that. Sure. That’s fine. I’m in the Final Four. That’s cool with me.” – Duncan Robinson, with a grin according to Land of 10.

(To be fair, the players did say some nice things about Loyola in that interview too, complimenting the Ramblers on how fun they have been to watch, how well they move the ball and “playing out of their minds.”)

Trash Talk Sister Jean Shade Edition:

When asked what they knew about Sister Jean:

“I don’t really know who she is. I don’t know who Sister Jean is, no disrespect.’’ – Charles Matthews, after looking to John Beilein for help and being told, “If you don’t know who she is, say you don’t know who she is.”

“I know that she didn’t have Loyola-Chicago in the Elite Eight. I know that. She was on my Instagram a lot in the last days.’’ – Mo Wagner

“I mean, that’s about it. I just know you see her all over social media. But I don’t know too much.” – Muhammad-Ali Abdur Rahkman

“I just know that people have been talking about her more than they were talking about my shot.” – Jordan Poole, “with a grin”

God bless the Wolverines and their trash talk game — which, it should be noted, is also boisterous and bilingual on the court as well — but also RIP. Congratulations to the Loyola Ramblers on their first NCAA Championship appearance in 55 years.

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