Ice-Cold Takes (Stanley Cup edition): Vegas, Ovi’s face and Imagine Dragons

Ice-Cold Takes is a weekly NHL humor column covering what is trending around the league. Unlike people in the NBA, we don’t need burner accounts to make fun of everyone.

The Stanley Cup Final has officially begun, and the Vegas Knights put on a show both literally and figuratively in Game 1. The Knights treated their fans to a full medieval spectacle that also included rapper Lil Jon, magician Cris Angel and boxing announcer Michael Buffer.

Vegas pre-games have been far better than expected. They are pulling out all the stops for every game. If you like hockey but also wish you were at a Blue Man Group show that included a Medieval Times dinner and cartoon man Wayne Newton, boy, are you in luck.

Washington has to come back with something big in Games 3 and 4. I want to see a full on Washington-themed spectacle. Give me a House of Cards-themed show in which much-hated Tom Wilson is elected president with the help of Russian bad guy Alex Ovechkin.

Before we get way off track, we’ll dive into the trends from this past week. In the words of Vegas’ Mr. Buffer, Let’s get ready to rumble!

Trending Up

1. Vegas!

Once again, Vegas sits atop our trends because they are absolutely all-in on hockey. Most of us assumed that no one was going to go to these games, and most of us were very wrong.

Lil Jon hasn’t seen crowds like this since 2005. They also found their ice-toss tradition. Vegas fans now throw pink flamingos (the plastic ones — not actual dead birds) on to the ice to fire up their team. Obviously it is working a little better than the Nashville catfish. It’s also going to be easier for Vegas Raiders linemen to drink from in a couple of years.

2. You already know

https://twitter.com/timandsid/status/1000086474748903424

DOES HE LOOK GOOD OR WHAT?!

3. Hockey shootouts

The game has been changed! Hockey shootouts are okay early in the regular season, but they suck in all meaningful and international games. They are a show of individual skill used to decide a team game. No one was asking for less overtime in hockey. Overtime is the best part.

Here’s a way to spice up the shoot outs and take the individual skill out of them.

In all honestly, I’d prefer to watch stars like Connor McDavid try this on the world stage.

Trending Down

1. Vegas

Uhh, excuse me, Vegas?

99 percent of the hockey world was ecstatic to finally shake these losers after the Tampa Bay Lightning were eliminated. Apparently they are from Vegas? That is too bad. We were all aboard the Vegas hype train with Lil Jon, but this is too much. The train has officially derailed.

If they play that damn “Thunder” song, I’m switching over to Country Music Television (CMT), which is showing Elf. In May. For some reason… (Actually? This has to be something other than the Christmas movie, right?)

2. Phil Kessel

You know we cover everything about hockey superstar Amanda Kessel’s brother, who is our favorite hot dog loving NHL teddy bear. Well, this week rumors have surfaced that he may get traded from the Penguins.

It would come as no surprise if Phil was traded. His numbers are slowly dropping in the time he’s been with the Pens and they might be able to get one or two decent players for what they are paying him alone. Personally, I like him with the Penguins, as that is where he seems the happiest. If not, we have another possible landing spot for Phil:

We’ll keep track of this story as it progresses.

3. Alex Ovechkin

Ovi lost Game 1 of the Stanley Cup final on Monday, but to add insult to injury (injury to insult?) he’s lucky he didn’t lose a couple teeth in the process.

Let’s think up a few good captions for this:

“When Tuesday comes around after a long weekend.”

“When you put your hand up in class but say the wrong answer.”

“When you finally make a Stanley Cup final but you lose to the team of misfits.”

“When you take a puck square to the face but you are a hockey guy.”

“Finding out Philadelphia 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo has been tweeting out your personal information.”

Stanley Cup betting (0-0)

Fresh start to the betting in the Stanley Cup final. Time to recoup everything we lost through the regular season. Let’s lay down a few easy ones to make us all some money.

Washington (+134) over Vegas: You’re crazy if you think Ovi is going to lose Game 2 after taking that puck to the face in Game 1. Plus, it’s a better story line if this series splits down the middle and goes to seven.

Braden Holtby (+550) to win Conn Smythe: Look. Six goals in Game 1 is not ideal for this bet, but if the Caps win the Stanley Cup, it’s going to be because Holtby was a brick wall in every other game. The odds are decent, considering Fleury is -135.

If you want a bigger risk/reward type bet, place a bet on Jonathan Marchessault at +2200. He has 19 points in these playoffs so far, including two game winners and he’s a +10 through 16 games. The only problem here is that if Vegas wins, I’m 99% sure it’s going to Fleury.

Next: 30 best NHL jerseys of all-time

Until next week, keep your head up (Especially if Tom Wilson is around).

For more from the NHL playoffs, make sure to follow FanSided and stay tuned to our NHL hub for all the latest news and results.

Odds according to Oddsshark.