The Atlanta Falcons should just name me their starting QB

Because they seem to have forgotten, we must immediately figure out how to tell the Atlanta Falcons that they have to name a starting QB before Week 1. Oh god, they don’t know … this is an emergency.

We could try Morse code, smoke signals, sign language, or maybe call up the Atlanta Braves bench coach and have him do the hand signals he would do to tell the batter not to swing. However we do it, we have to get the Falcons in gear. It’s the last non-NFL weekend of the year, and Atlanta has four quarterbacks on the roster, none of them are good and there isn’t a starter in sight.

The Falcons not having named their starter by September 4 is ridiculous

According to general manager Ian Cunningham, the decision will be made by a committee, sending shudders through the spine of anyone who has ever had to make an important decision by that god-forsaken group-decision-making body designed to make sure every mistake lacks responsibility and blame. Whichever poor sod winds up failing as Atlanta’s starter, the blame will surely be spread around the committee in deleterious diffusion until nobody is sure who named who what, when or why. 

Michael Penix Jr., the team’s ideal starter, is coming off his third torn ACL and only began 11-on-11 practice on Aug. 24. Tua Tagovailoa, the other option with actual experience in the role, was the worst quarterback I’ve ever seen with my own two eyes in 2025 and was released by the Miami Dolphins despite the $99.2 million dead cap hit the move incurred. Other options (because we have four quarterbacks on the roster, remember) include Cooper Rush, a career backup, and Jack Strand, an undrafted rookie QB who is apparently getting a lot of hype on social media. That doesn’t change the fact that an NFL team naming an undrafted rookie their Week 1 starter would be among the craziest offseason processes ever.

An alternative idea: they’re welcome to name me their starting QB. While I don’t quite fit the build of a successful NFL QB nor have I ever played football, I am, at the very least, available. If the Falcons were to sign me as an undrafted free agent, I would have the same pedigree as Jack Strand. Just let me know!

This QB "competition" is a failure of future planning

I try not to act like I’m smarter than NFL front offices. A distasteful trend in sports media is bloggers like myself insinuating that the reason for team failure is that the people in charge are just idiots, but I don’t think you get to the point where you are in charge of a multi-billion dollar franchise without having some idea what you’re doing. I don’t think Atlanta is run by idiots, just like I don’t think any team in any sport is anymore. The business is worth too much to play around with. 

This crisis was wrought instead by an inability to pivot from years of team planning. Penix Jr. was a super high pick in the draft, much higher than most analysts projected he was worth; all the while, Atlanta used three super high picks on Bijan Robinson, Drake London and Kyle Pitts to only tepid offensive improvement. There’s only so much you can do without fixing who’s under center. Now that Penix Jr.’s knee health has potentially reached a point of no return, Atlanta’s investments made it difficult for them to hard pivot.

Tagovailoa was certainly not the solution, and while a clever retort would be "They're paying him $1.3 million so who cares,” he’s taking up a roster spot and doing mental damage to team strategy. Tagovailoa should not even be considered a starting option, but having him on the 53-man roster means he must be considered. Logically and financially, it seems like a worthwhile risk; in reality, it’s a blunder.

I don’t know what the Falcons should do, but the fact that their QB position has zero clarity and no upside nine days before the season starts is a failure of competence, and one that won’t be fixed by a committee capable only of shifting blame. If all else fails, I’m ready to suit up.

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