Remember in 2021, when Ja’Marr Chase couldn’t catch an NFL football because it didn’t have the white stripes like a college football? Remember how he was going to be a bust? He ended that season as the Offensive Rookie of the Year, and he won the triple crown in 2024.
Every year, there are preseason stories and offseason takes that never amount to anything or that end up being completely wrong. None of these are on the level of that Ja’Marr Chase thing because that was hilariously bad … but these are a handful of takes from the last five months that are going to age like fine whole milk.
Christian Parker will fix the Cowboys' defense
The job of the defensive coordinator is to coordinate the defense. Last year, Matt Eberflus was the Cowboys' DC, and that defense looked anything but coordinated, so he got fired.
This year, the Cowboys hired Christian Parker to be their defensive coordinator. He’s been Vic Fangio’s guy for a good chunk of the last five years, was the defensive backs coach for the Eagles for the last two years, and helped turn Pat Surtain II, Quintyon Mitchell, and Cooper DeJean into All-Pro players in their second seasons … The dude is good at this job.
But there are two tiny little itty-bitty problems with the Cowboys hiring him. The first is that this is his first time being a defensive coordinator himself. Sure, he’s bringing a great scheme with him, but Fangio’s superpower is adapting during the game. Will Parker be able to do that? Probably not.
The second problem is that normally it’s the second year of playing in a Fangio-style defense where things really start to take hold. It’s super complicated and requires the defensive backfield to pass off routes and be a hivemind. You've got to think that a first-time DC isn’t going to get those immediate results.
They’ll be better than they were last season, but that’s because the bar is so low.
Also, for anyone who thinks that a team with a middling defense can win a Super Bowl: Eight of the last 10 Super Bowl winners have had top-10 scoring defenses … So miss me with that nonsense.
Dexter Lawrence fixed the Bengals’ defense
Up until the Rams traded away their future in the Myles Garrett trade, the biggest ‘Win Now’ move of the offseason was when the Bengals traded the 10th overall pick in the draft to the Giants for Dexter Lawrence.
He’ll be good, and it’ll definitely shore up that defensive line … But the defensive line is far from the biggest problem with that defense.
It was the safeties and the linebackers that made that defense pathetic over the past few years. In 2026, those are the two positions that good offensive coordinators can easily put into a blender.
They got rid of one safety, Geno Stone, in the offseason, which was super smart because he was a speed bump when it came to tackling (missed the most tackles last season). In his place, they signed Bryan Cook, which was awesome because he’s really good at tackling …
But their other safety is still Jordan Battle, who missed the second most tackles last season. And at linebacker, they’re still going to roll with Demetrius Knight and Barrett Carter.
If there is someone who can fix the Bengals' defense, it’s going to have to be Knight, not Lawrence … And I really doubt that Knight is going to be that guy to get the job done.
Maybe the Bengals will allow fewer explosive plays, and maybe Lawrence will get close to his 2024 form … But any OC worth a turd should be able to kill this defense by melting bad players’ brains with play calls and spacing.
The Ravens will be fine after backing out of the Maxx Crosby trade
Maybe this isn’t the word-for-word take, but it’s the general idea of what the Ravens are rolling with.
Back in March, Baltimore traded two first-round picks to Las Vegas for Crosby. A few days later, the Ravens backed out of the trade and said it was because they didn’t like Crosby’s medical stuff (he was coming off of surgery).
Then, right at the beginning of free agency, they signed Trey Hendrickson … who was also coming off of surgery. Both of those guys are pretty comparable as far as their pass-rushing ability goes, but Crosby never leaves the field and is significantly better than Hendrickson against the run.
The Ravens defense gets to see Jonathon Taylor, Tyler Warren, and the Colts in Week 1. I reckon that’s a defense that’s going to get punished and out-physicaled, especially at the edge.
Also, Trey Hendrickson wears sleeves, and I don’t think defensive ends should wear sleeves.
The Texans should be taken seriously
Not only is the talent on the Texans' defense excellent from top to bottom and front to back, but the brains behind it are top-notch as well. … But they still do have to have a functional offense.
Houston not only has a massive question mark at quarterback with C.J. Stroud, but they also have a really rough-looking wide receiver group for him to throw to. That passing game is going to look very wonky all season.
Their ground game is going to have to be nothing less than dominant, and they know that. That’s why they sunk a lot of resources into it this offseason by trading for David Montgomery (running back), signing Evan Brown (center), and drafting Keylan Rutledge (left guard).
It’s good that they’re making those changes, but this is their third season rebuilding their offensive line and run game … I don’t think that they’ve done good enough (or enough in general).
Luckily, they’re playing the Bills in Week 1, so we should know soon enough. Buffalo’s run defense was abysmal last year, and they didn’t do a whole lot this offseason to change that. Sure, they brought in Jim Leonhard as their DC, and they got Bradley Chubb in free agency … But the rest of the personnel in the guts of that defense are mostly the same.
I think the Texans won’t be able to move the ball where everyone else will, and the one non-overreaction from Week 1 is that Houston’s offense is still stuck in a hole. Ipso facto, they aren’t real.
Fernando Mendoza should start at some point this season
For some reason, the idea of Fernando Mendoza and the way his rookie season should go has shifted.
Initially, it felt like we were all on the same page about him just red-shirting and developing while Kirk Cousins takes the reins. It’s turned into a thing where some people think Cousins should play for the first six-ish weeks, and then Mendoza should take over. If I had to guess, that’s because the closer the season gets, the less we all think about development and the more we all just want to see the new car.
This week, the Raiders are playing the Dolphins, and Vegas is going to be playing without Brock Bowers. That means this passing attack is going to be extremely undermanned … But Kirk Cousins will be able to handle that in a way that a rookie Mendoza wouldn’t.
This season is all about the future of the Raiders. Yeah, it’d be cool if Mendoza played, and I imagine that he’ll get some garbage-time reps here and there ... But this needs to be a situation where Cousins needs to show that he should be benched, rather than Mendoza showing that he should start.
Aaron Glenn will be the first head coach to get fired
Don’t get me wrong: I believe that if you’re bad at your job, you should get fired. I also believe that Aaron Glenn is going to get fired this season … he just won’t be the first one. The Jets play the Titans in Week 1. If they win that game, it’s going to buy Glenn some grace.
Dan Quinn and the Commanders, on the other hand, are playing the Eagles. If they get spanked, that seat might not immediately turn to 1,000 degrees … but the gas is going to turn on. They follow that up with games against the Cowboys, Seahawks, Colts, Giants, and 49ers. After that is their bye. If Washington goes into their Week 7 bye with one win, I don’t see Quinn sticking around.
The Jets’ bye isn’t until Week 13, and they don’t have any mini-byes or anything conducive to bringing up an interim coach built into their schedule.
Travis Hunter is a transcendent player
Is it fair to include a take from 2025? Probably not, but I’m going to because it’s apt.
When the Jaguars traded up to draft Travis Hunter second overall, James Gladstone, the general manager, was very vocal about how Hunter was going to change the game of football by being a two-way player.
Yada. Yada. Yada. He got hurt after a few games and missed the majority of the season.
There has been significantly less talk this offseason about Travis Hunter, so much so that people outside of Duval have kind of forgotten about him. So I will take this opportunity to say: Remember Travis Hunter? He’s pretty sick.
Now, Liam Coen did not forget Hunter. As a matter of fact, he still wants Hunter to be a two-way player who is going to transcend space, time, and football. I think that in just Week 1, we’ll see how that’s not exactly the case … at least for right now.
Deion Sanders was the best and most prolific two-way player in recent NFL history. It took him eight seasons to become a real piece of an offense. In 1996, he had a career-high 46 catches for 475 yards and a touchdown; the fifth-highest receptions and second-highest receiving yards on that Cowboys team.
The Jags are talking about forcing Hunter to be that guy, instead of letting him be an awesome corner first and then giving him a job on offense.
The Jags are playing the Browns in Week 1. That means that Hunter will be covering some combination of Jerry Jeudy, Denzel Boston, and/or KC Concepcion. Those guys are going to be getting the ball thrown at them by Deshaun Watson.
This is the perfect situation for a guy like Hunter to get his feet back under him, build confidence, and make a name for himself as a guy you don’t throw at.
Carnell Tate didn’t catch a pass during preseason: Bust
This is the last time that I’ll be able to bring up the fact that Carnell Tate was targeted six times in the preseason and didn’t come down with a single catch. I don’t know if anyone else finds that as entertaining as I do, or if anyone actually cares …
But it’s very reminiscent of Ja’Marr Chase. He only had one catch in three preseason games as a rookie, but his problem, again, was that he couldn’t catch an NFL ball because it didn’t have the white stripes on it.
Everything is going to end up working out for Tate because he’s a first-round wide receiver from Ohio State, not named Marvin Harrison Jr.
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