Patty Mills wins the three point shootout
Patty Mills won. He did it. He finally accomplished the childhood goal of beating two Australian comedians at his profession. You can watch his victory in the video player below. Also, don’t read the last four sentences or the headline of this article. There are spoilers.
Or did Patty Mills win? Was his foot on the line on that half court shot? How will the controversy I intend to create factor in to the Olympic semi-finals? Will Australia be disqualified? Should they be? If they are, who will bring the inflatable kangaroos to the games? Let us know your thoughts.
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Just to minimize confusion, I’d like to make a couple points:
1) This is in Australia, and things move backwards there. However, 41 does not mean 14 there. It’s still 41.
2) The weird noises coming out of their mouths are not the result of bad audio. That’s called an “Australian accent,” and a lot of people in Australia have them.
3) Leigh Ellis is not depicted in this video despite there being three-point shooting and Australian people. This oversight was not addressed in the video, and it probably never will be.
4) Headbands are mandatory in Australia, and Patty Mills not wearing one is worth noting. Maybe it was an accident, but regardless it is considered a fairly serious cultural affront. Avoid the YouTube comments if possible. That’s all they’re talking about.
5) Patty Mills is good at basketball.
Next: Not Aussie Steven Adams didn't get his hair cut because he is cheap
That should get you up to speed, which is determined by “kilometers per hour” in Australia. Isn’t that crazy? It should be kiloyards.